Sunday, May 30, 2010

Sweet Memories

Caroline having muddy fun with two of the four cousins we are visiting!

An eight hour drive to Texas with me and my sweet kiddos! We honestly had a great drive down and the only time I got frustrated with Caroline was when she told me to turn my music down because she said it was too loud!
I did not even tell her about the borrowed (thank you Mauree!) DVD player until we were six hours into the drive! Cinderella got us through Dallas easily! The garmin was an enormous help (Thanks, Kim!) I told Kim I wished the lady who tells me when to turn would give positive reinforcement after I follow her direction! "in 1.5 miles turn left...great turn, Bonnie! Keep it up, you are almost there!"
the only other annoying event was when my rear view mirror decided to fall off as I adjusted it. Yes, you heard me right. It stinking fell right off the windshield as I was driving. It's not like I have a clunker either, it's a 2007. I managed to make it stay on as we went through Dallas. Funny how you take things for granted unless you really need them! (I am blaming it on the Texas heat. It is so hot!)
Anyway, Caroline and I played the association game for a really long time (I am thinking about fire. She says, that makes me think of camping. I say, that makes me think of s'mores...etc) We laughed a lot about the funny things we came up with. We also sang the "tomorrow" song from Annie and "doe a deer" from sound of music at least twenty times each. Not exaggerating.
Thomas tried to sing and talk with us, but he mainly slept.
Speaking of Thomas! He was a little fussy one day last week-and he is virtully Never fussy. Several people said he is probably teething and each time I would politely say yeah, right-Caroline was 16 months (Can you believe it?!) before her first tooth came in! I remember googling about baby teeth never coming in and of course there is some very rare disorder where people never have teeth grow in!! Thankfully hers all came in! Better late than never! L O N G story short, lo and behold I felt a sharp tiny tooth coming in on his bottom gum! At nine months!!
He also had some real food besides baby food this week. Like his momma, he loves guacamole! He also had beans at the Cyclone Corral Barbecue place! For dessert I let him taste our peach cobbler.
Here is a picture of sweet Thomas so proud of himself after swiping my spoon when I looked away for two seconds!

More on our trip coming soon!

Saturday, May 29, 2010


Caroline enjoying watermelon during our trip to Texas. Since we've been home a few days she will randomly say 'texas is hot!' I totally agree sweet Caroline!
I have grown a lot in the last couple of months. I have finally decided to come to terms with my new normal and I have surrendered even more to God so that He can work more freely. (Who knew there was so much I was hanging onto and trying to "work out" myself?!)
I am not saying I am completely healed, I just realized I am okay with letting "good" come from the tragedy. I know it must sound strange to hear that I did not want good to come from it. But I was just so hurt that I could not imagine good coming from our horrendous tragedy.
I guess the first surrendering moment I want to record is how God talked me into starting a single moms' ministry. I don't like to use friends' names on my blog without permission so I will do my best to make this as clear as possible.
I have known for a long time that helping others in a similar situation as mine is heart wrenching and yet helps me heal as well. As I finished my second round of griefshare last month, I had the overwhelming desire to share what I had learned with other moms. God opened the door and made it very clear to me.
I was told about the awesome book "my single mom life" by Angela Thomas from a friend who told me the story of how a girl she knew in high school contacted her out of the blue and brought her the book on a stormy night several months ago. Flash forward a few months and I am told by two unrelated friends about a newly single mom of four children. I went to meet her and we immediately hit it off. She also felt God calling her to a moms ministry. She already knew of the book I wanted to use and we made plans for it. That same night I befriended her on facebook and saw we had a mutual friend. The same friend who originally told me about the book. I connected the dots and realized that my new friend with four children was the same woman who dropped the book off on the stormy night to my other friend! So she was the reason I read the book! God has shown me in more ways than this one example that He is in control of the plan. He just needs willing people to carry it out!
We have had one official meeting and it went great. It was a total monsoon right when it was supposed to start but I told God as I was driving in the downpour that He was in control of this ministry and if no one comes that night then it would be His fault and not mine. We still had five moms come and wonderful, selfless matt and meagan babysit all of the kiddos! Immediately after the meeting the rain stopped and there was the most amazing complete double rainbow over our church building. He was telling me that He keeps His promises no matter our circumstances. Here are a few pics of it from my phone.

Letting God have complete control of my life is an amazing, liberating way to live. But it is a continual process. Some days I am better at letting Him have it than others but I strive to talk with Him each day and I just straight up tell Him when it is difficult and I ask Him for help. He has not let me down yet. I completely depend on Him.

Jeremiah 29:11 I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. 12"When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. 13-14"When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed..."

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, May 16, 2010

One month since my last post...What?!

Caroline and some friends at sweet Rosemary's Moms' Club meeting. They wore PJs and listened to Rob Button's fun music to help raise money for American Childhood Cancer Organization.

I hope to update tonight, but it may be after midnight so I wanted to post something before it has been officially over a month since my last real post!

VERY short summary of the last month:
We are doing well.
God is teaching me a lot, but the growing pains hurt sometimes!

I can't wait to sort through it all and put it down into a cohesive, coherent blog post. (But if I wait for that to happen, it may NEVER happen!) :-)

So I will leave this post with some verses I am focusing on:

Be still, and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

...My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness... 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:9 (Message)

Yes, he'll banish death forever. And God will wipe the tears from every face. Isaiah 25:8