In Love: One Month and Counting

When Ethan finally settles into a nap, not in my arms, I feel a frenzied decision making fight go on in my head:

"Hurry...should I shower? take a nap? play with Thomas? write on my blog? Hurry!!"

By the time I make a decision and put a foot in that direction sweet boy tends to make his grunting noises calling me back to stroke his wrinkled forehead...he very rarely cries, such a good baby. Everyone calls him "sweet." It's the truth.

He calms down as his eyelids flutter a few times before closing again..."Now what was it I had decided to do?" The dryer buzzes me to come remove the hot clothes before wrinkling...because I don't iron. I don't even know where the iron is...maybe it's in that closet I need to organize...Wait, what was that? Thomas is ready for lunch. Where did the morning go? What did I accomplish?

No worries, I loved on my kids and the rest will wait...as it all tends to do every day, each wondering "When is it my turn for attention?"
 
Rocking in his swing with his head cocked at an almost scary angle, our blue-eyed one month old is making quiet little humming noises. I hear Thomas's wooden blocks clanging as he builds what his imagination calls to him, and my blog wins my attention...for this quick, stolen moment.

I'm in love with these three kids like nothing I've ever experienced. Having Ethan has put me even more in touch with the special subtleties of each of our children and how they are growing. I have been been bitterly reminded of how much I do not remember from baby Thomas at Ethan's age. I tried to never think about what I missed during my grieving in Thomas's baby days, but it's staring me in the face each day...so I have to process it. That is a good thing. Processing. Instead of being depressed about missing those chunks of time in my memory, I am embracing Ethan's time now. Thomas's time now. Caroline's time now. And it is beautiful.

One of Ethan's newborn pics with lanningphoto.com

"But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere." 2 Cor 2:14