Thankful

Here is the latest update on Hannah Grace, copied straight from her Caringbridge journal this morning:

Monday, December 7, 2009 8:14 AM, CST

Good Morning to all-this is Nana. Hannah is still with us this morning. She is having a little more difficulty breathing this morning but still being a Warrior Princess. Momma got to sleep in the bed with her last night and I'm sure that was a great comfort to both of them. We are thankful of the day we had with her yesterday. We surrounded her and the ones in the room with wonderful praise and worship music. It brought a sense of peace to our hearts. Please continue to keep the prayers going-we were more mentally & emotionally prepared for Hannah's homecoming yesterday than we are today.

I am now in the position that so many of you were when you were comforting me eleven months ago. How do you keep going with your normal routine when a family you love is having their entire world change forever.
Uncle Travis made a really great point to Becky and I when we were despairing over the situation with Hannah. Everyone is praying for the Crumby family and God is holding onto them tight. The rest of us, who are praying for them, may not feel the peace and assurance that God is granting them.
I can speak from experience when I say that God's embrace was physically, tangible during those darkest days for me-and He continues to be when the dark days creep in again. I do draw comfort that I know the Crumby family will feel the same way because they are believers.
Thank you, God, for keeping your promises to us. You will be their Great Comforter. You will carry them through and You never let go.

I am continuing this post on being thankful, hoping that it can be an encouragement, that although there are certainly trials in life there are also many blessings...
We had an amazing turnout at Har-Ber High's First Annual Run to Remember for my husband. The students from EAST lab put together a great run and they raised over two thousand dollars towards the Thomas Culp Memorial Scholarship. I had many family and friends come out to support us. Thank you to those who contributed, ran (or walked in my case!,) or prayed for this event. The back of the shirts had a quote from my husband that he had written on a picture of himself that he kept in his classroom "Bending the future to my will one student at at time." He still makes me laugh.Caroline celebrated Thanksgiving at her Mother's Day Out by singing a song with her class on stage and inviting us all to a feast afterwards. Sweet memories were made. (I was juggling the camcorder and the camera so the pics did not turn out great. Thanks to Mom, Becky, Travis and Nellie who juggled Thomas and Jett so that I could focus on Caroline!)We spent Thanksgiving at Aunt Jen and Uncle Mark's house. They went all out to make sure all their nieces and nephews had a fantastic time. Caroline is still talking about the cart and feeding Taffy the pony, bounce house and puppy Sera. I am so blessed to have a close relationship with Thomas's family and it really feels like I've spent time with Thomas after being with them all.Getting out the Christmas decorations was really tough. I remember so vividly sitting in front of our tree this time last year and letting Caroline bring her daddy the wrapped present that had a picture of our positive pregnancy test inside. I am so happy we were able to celebrate the pregnancy together those few weeks.
I have tried hard to really "be" in the moment when special times come around throughout the year. But sometimes I am just going through the motions to create those memories for Caroline and baby Thomas that I know are important for them to have. I truly believe that eventually I will feel more true about these times in the coming years. It seems a little far off right now, though.The fact that the ONE YEAR mark is quickly approaching has not been lost on me. I really do not remember what happened to spring this year, summer I tried hard to do special things with Caroline before her brother arrived, so I remember some things from it. The fall has flown by, and now we are here. Wow. I've heard from people that the days leading up to "the day" are harder than the day itself. Not sure that makes the experience any easier, but I do know my dear friend Tara's blog about fear sure helped me this week.
Tara and her two adorable boys, their mimi, my dear friend Leigh and us three were able to go to the square and see the lights. I am so glad I went with them. This was one of the last "big" memories from our time together last year and it helped to be with Tara who knows almost exactly how I feel. We were able to spend a lot of time together that day and I am so thankful for her friendship and that God brought us together.