Sunday, December 13, 2009


I've always known that time is precious. Of course, after the events of this year that fact about time has been beaten into my head. (Being blunt today, no time for flowery statements! :-) ) I bought a Gingerbread house kit at wal-mart knowing that it would be fun for Caroline and I. Didn't it turn out great?

Ha! That was the picture from the box. Here's ours:

To be really deep, this is kind of like my life--you think it's going to turn out one way, and it turns out completely different. (By the way, do NOT use the red sprinkles that come with the kit-it took two days for the color to fade from my hands! Use your own red sprinkles!)
My life is not turning out at all how I had "planned" or even hoped, but I can say that I am making the best of what life and God has given me. Look at that sweet smile on Caroline's face. How can I say life is awful or that God is so mean etc. He is keeping His promises from the bible--we will have heartaches, but He is here for us to get through them. The ultimate goal is not to make sure everything goes our way here on Earth--it is to persevere, even thrive if possible, through the hard times and let everyone know that the way you spend eternity is way more important than the "comfortable" life we strive for here on Earth.

"For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!" 2 Corinthians 4:17

There have been some really dark days, or moments since January. But I can say that God sure has taken care of me as much as possible. He has sent so many "new" friends to help me. Nellie (above with Caroline and her hot "toe-toe") has the most empathetic heart of anyone I know. She has cleared her schedule many a-times to make sure I have help on those days where I can't juggle everything alone. Here's another sweet friend who takes time whenever possible to help me with my kiddos. Leigh (or Ro-Ro, as we affectionately call her) is helping Jacob (Tara N's son) and Caroline make brownies. Leigh has endless energy--Thank you, God for friends and family!
There are so many friends and family who have helped at multiple times this year. I hesitate in mentioning anyone because there is no way to include everyone! I can always count on Meagan C. to cook and take pictures for us whenever I feel it's time, Tara H is my reliable babysitter and the one who understands what I need, Meagan and Matt T. are always willing to spend the night if I feel I am too tired for those 2:00am feedings. Julie and Adam always seem to know what I need before I do, Tara S. always finds ways to help me all the way from Texas. A few people email or text me every few days all year long just to let me know they're thinking of me: You know who you are! My sweet momma spent almost this entire past week caring for my kiddos. Becky: There are no words. The list goes on and on.
My advice to everyone: Don't get too down about your situation, there is always something you can smile about and usually God doesn't make you look too hard.

Before I forget:
Caroline trying to repeat "Humpty Dumpty": "Hokey, Dunkey sat on a wall..."
She says "actually." Example, "Actually, I think you need to take my band-aid off for me."
About a month ago she said, "Thomas, you're so ham!" (Instead of "handsome.")
My favorite: "Snuggle with me, Momma."

Prayers: Crumby family. They need constant prayers.
Praise: I've heard specifically about three people who have turned to Jesus through sweet Hannah's story. How many of us can say the same thing about our lives? (Also, don't think you have to wait to get your life in "order" before calling on Jesus, He wants us the way we are, mess and all! If all you can do is pray, "Help me!" that is enough. Sometimes, that is still the only prayer I can pray!)


  1. God Bless You & your precious children. Please know that several times a day I stop what I am doing and pray for you.

  2. I needed your paragraph of advice today. I enjoy keeping up with your blog and family. Keep fighting the good fight!

  3. Thank you for taking some of your very precious time to update us - what a blessing your attitude is to me!

  4. Okay, you totally had me on the gingerbread house. I saw that first picture and about cried...ours NEVER looks like that. Then I saw the second picture and felt more at home. :) What a neat (sad but neat) analogy of doesn't turn out often the way we think it will. Thank you for your post tonight. I needed it. I have been in a funk this week. That makes me feel almost guilty because I have no real reason to be...just am. I needed reminders of what the good things in life (specifically God and His kept promises) are...

  5. I know you may not always feel optimistic, but you really are, and you help me remember what life is about more than you know! Caroline is so darling, and I like your ginger bread house better than the other one! haha

  6. Hello Sweet Bonnie! Words cannot express how great it felt to hug you on Friday. I wish the circumstances had been better, but I know we have to take what we can get. I am constantly uplifted and inspired by the words that you share. God is working through you and through Kim and Hannah in ways that we don't even know. As I have said over and over to Kim, God will not forget your faithfulness and love for Him. You are a light to me and others even in what you think are your darkest days. My heart continues to hurt for you and I continue to pray for you everyday.

    On a different note.We actually have a gingerbread house to make. I will let you know how that goes! Thanks for the tip about the red sprinkles.

    Love you bunches. I will be praying for you as Christmas and January quickly approach us. Love you!!

  7. Hi...I actually found your blog last week when I was at a different computer. I have Hannah's CaringBridge site saved as a favorite on this one, but wasn't able to get to my computer and wanted to check for an update on her. I googled her name and found your site....and I read your story and cried like a baby. Your love and peace show in everything you write and you amaze me. Lately I have been feeling down for several reasons that seem huge to me, but truly are just minor and your post today truly convicted me. I think you and Hannah's mom too, are amazing people with the love of God in your hearts and you are helping so many people. I feel like you both are trying to comfort us during your time of heartache when it should be the other way around. Thank you for sharing your life and your heart and your feelings and belief in God. Thank you for making me want to be a better person for Him!

  8. Praying for you sweet Bonnie this day. Thank you for feeling the freedom to share your raw, honest emotions. It gives those of us who pray for you specifics on HOW to pray for you by knowing your specific struggles. He WILL see you through and NEVER leave your side. As for that gingerbread house, MINE always looks like your actual house and NEVER like the box. Life is like that for every single one of us in varying degrees. How blessed we are that God gets us through the imperfections of life and helps us stand strong in Christ. May He abundantly bless you, my young friend, this Christmas.
    In Christ's love, Brenda

  9. Bonnie,

    I am James Crumby's cousin's wife and wanted to introduce myself and give you a big hug over the weekend as we celebrated Hannah's life - I'm sorry I never got the opportunity. I just wanted to tell you that I found your blog months ago from my friend, Tara Hudson (only to find out later how close you are to the Crumby's), and have prayed for you many times throughout this year.

    As I was crying for James and Kim, I was also crying for you. As I continue to pray for James and Kim, I will also continue to pray for you and your family.

    Anyway, I just wanted you to know that.

    Always praying,
    Kelly Watson

  10. I can't believe how quickly your sweet children are growing! They're beautiful. And I love the gingerbread house!! (yours)

    Also want to thank you for putting the information about Hannah. I've been realizing a lot in the past few weeks how one of the most perfect parts of God's plan for us is that he lets us interact and take care of each other. It didn't have to be that way, but it was the most perfect way he could teach us to become like him. And as I was reading your entry about all the people that have supported you hands on and all of us who have prayed (and needed those first group of people to act, in order for those prayers to be answered). And then though how you've allowed the web of human interaction/help to continue by telling us about Kimberly, et al. It makes me cry to think how right it is. That's how God's plan was meant to work. It's just so right! Thank you for so beautifully filling your part in that plan.
    I love you!

  11. Bonnie,

    Love reading your posts.....I love your honesty - as you said "mess and all". Maybe Caroline was on to something when she said Thomas was "ham", because as you know his Dad was a ham (and handsome, too - you know he'd get after me if I didn't say he was both) -- haha ;)

    Hannah's family is in thoughts and prayers, as are you, Laura and the rest of the family. I want to let you know that you have been a witness and example to me (all of Thomas' family has).....I know you struggle, I know you hurt, but you carry on. You not only carry on, but you help help put things in perspective - what should matter, taking the time to enjoy a moment out of each day. Thank you. Always in my thoughts and prayers.


  12. Merry Christmas to you and your family! I'm thinking of you and wish I could be there with you and Nellie to spend some time together. We won't forget you during this time or ever and we pray for God's peace and comfort for you and your family. I hope you enjoy some holiday time together. Your strength and witness encourages me. Thank you! Love you!

  13. Hi Bonnie. The Lord's brought you to mind many times over the past couple weeks and of course I've prayed for you, Caroline and little Thomas. I'm also praying for you in this tough week ahead. May you deeply feel His presence and comfort.


  14. I know that this week is going to be hard, and I just want you to know I am praying for you. I know that we have never met, but I was a teacher and I lost my mom last November, and I am expecting a baby in February, so I know what it is like to loose someone and welcome a baby into the world.

  15. Praying for you as Tuesday arrives that you will be filled with the peace of our Lord that surpasses all understanding.