Tuesday, February 8, 2011

How do you explain...

"How do you explain, how do you describe
A love that goes from east to west
And runs as deep as it is wide
You know all our hopes, You know all our fears
Words cannot express the love we feel
But we long for you to hear
So listen to our hearts, hear our spirits sing
A song of praise that flows
From those you have redeemed
We will use the words we know
To tell you what an awesome God You are
Words are not enough to tell You of our love
So listen to our hearts"

I'm starting with this post with that song because Tyler and I feel that way about God and what He's done with our lives.
We've had an amazing experience with God growing our love for Him and each other as we've made our way through these last nine months together. Every fear or concern we had was answered by God. Caroline asked me out of the blue a couple of months ago if Tyler and I would "be married." I was surprised by the question, but I knew God was working on her heart as well. I told her I would listen to what God tells me in my heart. She then said, "Well, what is God telling you?" I told her that God is working on us, but  that  I think it will happen!
Well...IT IS HAPPENING!!!

I can't seem to keep my fingers typing fast enough to tell everyone all the emotions and thoughts racing through my head right now. I want to do our story justice and there is never enough time in the day to get it all written the way I would like to in a blog post, but I wanted to announce our engagement right away! Tyler proposed last night with Caroline and Thomas helping.
I kept thinking I was feeling shock all night and day today, but I finally realized it wasn't shock. After all, we have carefully let our relationship grow in God's timing, but we always  knew we were never casually dating. We both felt God telling us this was "for real" from the first day of our relationship. So it isn't shock that I'm feeling. We both knew this was coming (even planned tentatively dates for the wedding!) Not shock, it is awe. I am in complete and total awe of what God can do with a broken mess. If you've read any of my blog, it is not a surprise to hear that life dealt the three of us a horrific blow. I was a mess: physically, emotionally and spiritually. However, my family and friends surrounded me and showed me what God's love is. Their love and support motivated me to ask God to help me pull it together. He answered that prayer in a huge way. I am reminded of the way love is defined in the bible in 1 Corinthians:

1 Corinthians 13

 1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 
  
We usually hear these verses at weddings, but it isn't just talking about love between husband and wife. Love is a true gift from God that each of us can have: for our friends, for our families, for each other. When I allowed myself to take in the love from my amazing support system and start asking God to transform my  sadness to joy-He did it. I felt joy again. Only after that happened did he then open my eyes to see Tyler.
Fast forward to yesterday...
He had Caroline help set up the dining room with white Tulips and an adorable round cake (from Ricks!) with a big question mark in it, complete with sparkler candles! I was holding Thomas and when I came around the corner all I could see was that question mark on the cake and Caroline beaming from ear to ear and holding something behind her back....Tyler told me He is excited about God's plans for us as a family and if I would do the honor of being his wife! AAAHHHHH! Caroline gave me the ring and I said YES! 
Caroline was giggling and cheering, Thomas was staring at the candles and I was drying my eyes while hugs were being passed around.
Then as we quieted down to take in the moment, Caroline walked over to Tyler and put her arms around his neck and said, "Now we have a daddy. Now we have a daddy" with all of the love and sincerity a newly turned 4 year old can muster. I completely lost it. Tears of joy, heart break and renewal all at once. I knew she knew she didn't have a daddy hear on Earth, but I also know she knows that she did have a wonderful daddy who loved her very much. I hadn't fully realized the impact this would have on her until she said those words. In bed that night Caroline and I thanked God for the daddy who is now in heaven that brought her into this world and loved her more than anything else on Earth, and then we were able to thank God for the daddy that she will now have here with us. What a blessed little girl and boy they are to have so much love from dads on Earth and in Heaven just for them. (And a mommy who is loved so much, too...) My cup runneth over.
 



48 comments:

  1. My heart is exploding with happiness for you all! The tears of sadness are now tears of joy! God is amazing and I am glad I have witnessed his work! Congratulations! Hugs to you all!

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  2. May God bless your marriage and your sweet, sweet family! Congratulations!

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  3. Oh my, that is wonderfully awesome news! I have somewhat been waiting for this post since you introduced us to Tyler. I am so very thankful that you have been so blessed - as well as your little ones. God bless your family richly! When is the wedding date? :-)

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  4. Oh Bonnie! I am so happy for you all! Love you!

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  5. Congratulations!!! We are so happy for you and your sweet family!! :) Happy tears were brought to my eyes as I read your blog post. I know you are enjoying this exciting time. God Bless you and your family. Love, Roxy, Jeff, and Xander Smith

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  6. Awesome!! Beautiful ring. I too LOVE what Caroline said. Absolutely precious. You can tell that you are listening to God by your sweet, response to her and such a great answer! Congrats!!!!!

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  7. YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! I pray your marriage is full of continuous blessings, overflowing love, and many sweet surprises!!! I love you!

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  8. Congratulations Bonnie! I am so happy for you and Tyler! This is wonderful news! Your story is so amazing... I had tears in my eyes reading it. You are an inspiration to us all!!!!

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  9. I am crying tears of joy, for you and your precious babies! CONGRATULATIONS!!

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  10. Bonnie, your happiness is radiating out like you wouldn't believe. I am a "lurker" and check in with your blog every couple of months or so to see how your lovely family is doing. Tonight I absentmindedly pulled up my "blog list", saw yours, and thought "I bet God is doing some awesome things for Bonnie right now. I wonder if she posted any."

    I wasn't surprised to see your post, dated today.

    May you be blessed with a wonderful marriage and a long, happy life together.

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  11. Christina Ellig-HeltFebruary 8, 2011 at 9:03 PM

    I am so excited for you and you sweet babies!!! I got chills reading your blog as I'm so happy you've found happiness and love. May God continue to bless you and your sweet family on your new journey together!!

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  12. Tears!!! I check your post daily and when you hadn't posted in a long time I had a feeling this was about to happen. I have been praying for you often and I am so glad God has brought happiness and peace in to your life. PLEASE post more often!

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  13. Tears are pouring!! Congratulations, i can't wait to hug your neck!!

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  14. God bless you, Sweet Bonnie!!! I cried while reading this post. Praying God's riches of mercies to continue to rain down on your precious family!!! May you have a happy life together!!!

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  15. Congratulations Bonnie! I am so happy for you and the children. Wishing you a long, happy life together!

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  16. Bonnie
    I am so overwhelmed with happiness for you! Our God is truly an AWESOME GOD!

    Love you bunches!
    Heather

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  17. I am in tears reading this! I am SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!! What a beautiful moment and thank you for sharing it with us! I wish you and your family nothing but God's greatest blessings!!!

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  18. Woohoo! We are super excited! God is SO GOOD! Love you all!

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  19. Bonnie,
    I'm so thrilled and filled with joy for you, Tyler, and the kids. It's great to see the love God has filled you all with. Thanks for being an example for us and for giving the glory to God for all that He has done and is doing. What a journey you have been on and I'm so thankful it continues to be filled with love. I love you sister!

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  20. Congratulations! You and your children deserve every bit of happiness that comes your way! I'm very excited for you!

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  21. Awww CONGRATS! So happy for you and your family. You deserve all the happiness in the world. <3

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  22. Bonnie, I am filled with joy for you! God is so good.

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  23. I am so happy for you and what an awesome man you are marrying ! How special to have Caroline help him set it all up! When is the big day!

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  24. Bonnie, sweet Bonnie!
    I am so so happy for you and your family! God is so amazing and has taken care of you! He will always take care of you and your family! :) Congrats on the wonderful news!

    -Katie
    http://thebrockmeyers.blogspot.com

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  25. Congrats! I'm so happy for you, Tyler and the kids. God is amazing! Love the ring!

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  26. Holy cow, you made me cry! I am so happy for you! Congratulations! :) Give thanks to the Lord...for He is so good!

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  27. oh my!! Congrats! God has shown His faithfulness! I am so excited for you!

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  28. Congratulations. What a true blessing when God brings His children together.

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  29. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! God bless all of you!!

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  30. Wow. I don't even know you and that made me cry. Congratulations on a new journey!

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  31. I don't check your blog daily as I know you don't post too often, but today I felt led to see if you've posted....I'm so glad I did!!!! I'm so happy for you and your beautiful children! God is SO good!!!! I was in tears as I read this tonight. You all deserve to be happy and I'm just thrilled for you all. Congratulations on your engagement!

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  32. Bonnie! This is Kameron Ervin! We went to school together during the MAT. I wrote you a comment just earlier, but I somehow erased it and so now this is ROUND 2! Well, first of all, I want to tell you Congratulations! As I read your blog, I was overwhelmed by the goodness and the faithfulness of God. How great is our God. He loves us so much. I love Him. What truly pricked my heart was your Sweet Caroline. When I read that a few days before the engagement that she said she missed her Daddy, she missed him very much I instantly started bawling. I never thought I would be able to identify with a 4 year old. My Daddy passed away Nov. 30, '10 from A LOT of cancer. Like Caroline, I miss my Daddy so much. As I go through the days, I can take my mind off him, but when I read what she said, I completely connected with her. But, as God is working in her little life, He showed me how He can restore all things, heal all things, and create true joy out of dark, desolute places. Most importantly, Your Caroline has shown me that God really does make all things beautiful in time. Reading your blog has been such a testimony for me. For the last year and some months, I have truly known Him as Father and he as also sent specific people in my life to "father" me. He never leaves us alone. I am holding on to His promise that "everlasting joy will crown my head." I am having more joyful days than sad, but I am so hopeful about the future. Thank you for encouraging us to be hopeful about our future. Your life exemplifies what's likely to happen when we are hopeful and trust in the Lord. God certainly doesn't disappoint. The best is yet to come for you and your family! I'm so excited for you! Have you thought about publishing your blog? I bet you have no idea how your process and transformation would bless the whole WORLD. Most importantly, your story gives such GLORY to God. You are such a blessing! Take care! Kameron kamervin@gmail.com

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  33. Congrats and best wishes!! Your post brought me to tears.....it has been awesome to follow your story for the past 2 years, and to see--through your words---how your life has been transformed by God's love and goodness.

    Your happiness is seeping over the pages of your blog...we can feel it!! God bless you always,
    Stacy (Ohio)

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  34. I love that song.I have been following your website for a couple of years now.What an inspiration you have been. I too was a single mom but not by death like yours but through divorce. Often people say divorce is similar to death and now I see how that is true.

    God also sent me and my daughter someone his name is Chad. Not only did he love me but he loved my daughter as if she were his own. Chad and the Lord helped heal my heart and I am so thankful to read you have Tyler.

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  35. Wonderful wonderful news and post!! I'm sobbing at my computer, all tears of joy for all four of you! Congratulations and many, many blessings!

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  36. Congrats!! God is good!! :)

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  37. so, so happy for you and what a beautiful post....God is good.

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  38. I have been checking in on your blog frequently, just knowing that your next post would have to be this announcement...I just had a feeling after your post about Tyler before:)

    A good friend of ours passed away from lymphoma a few years ago, leaving behind a wife and 2 young children. She remarried within 2 years, and is now due any day with their baby. Her kids miss their dad who died, obviously, and talk of him often...but they also are in love with their dad here.
    And she talks often of how blessed she has been to have 2 men love her so well.
    I'm so happy for you that you're experiencing the same.

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  39. so happy for you Bonnie, to see God's work in your life is truely amazing!

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  40. Precious.

    So thrilled for you, Bonnie! Congratulations!

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  41. Bonnie,

    I am so happy for you and your children!

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  42. So incredibly happy for you!!!!!

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  43. Bonnie, I am so excited for you!! Thank you for sharing your life and engagement with us. I can't tell you how encouraging your story is to this 30 year old single Christian! Thank you for sharing, it is so encouraging! Congratulations!!

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  44. Oh sweet girl.
    I am weeping.
    I just now saw that you had updated your blog. I wanted to hear the story, but knew you were also a busy girl. I am so glad I sat down to check blogs for a second tonight.
    My heart is so full.
    Caroline...what a precious thing to say. Oh how I love that girl! Her little words continue to be such a blessing to you (& everyone who hears them) and I am so thankful for that.

    I am so thankful for you Bonnie...so thankful and excited.

    Thank you Lord, for restoring joy and hope. For doing more than we even imagined and surprising us in the most beautiful ways. You are good at all times. You are worthy to be praised.

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  45. Oh Bonnie, what a joyous time for you and your precious kids. I am in tears now as I read what Caroline said. WOW!! How amazing to have TWO loving Daddy's in ones life. So happy for you.

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  46. I have been reading your blog since you lost your husband, and I prayed for you for a long time. And now I am so happy for you! I knew God would be there for you all along and now he has brought you a new love. God bless your new family and best of luck!!!

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  47. Oh Bonnie, I am so happy for you, Tyler and the kids! You don't know me, but I have been following your blog since I first heard about you through Tara Newby. You have been an inspiration to many...God works everything out for GOOD for those who love Him :)

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