Tuesday, December 11, 2012


Oh my.
Note to self and kids when wondering why there was a four month gap in the blog. I was super busy kissing their sweet cheeks, playing in the floor with them, trying to savor the moments of their childhoods that seem to be slipping away fast! As I said in my last post, I knew Kindergarten would be a huge transition for me, and it was. I had to re-prioritize life and be sure to be "on" and engaged when I take Caroline to school and when I pick her up. I am super blessed to be able to work in her classroom quite a bit, but I am not with her ALL day like before. Yes, we considered homeschool, but so far this is where God has us. It has been a blessing and the conversations Caroline and I have about her day are precious to me. Thomas and I have bonded in new ways and his language and speech are exploding. (Maybe it helps to not have to talk over Caroline? : ) ) He calls her Cawoline. I don't want to forget that.

Thomas turned 3 in August. We welcomed my precious, beautiful niece Sadie Grace to the world on Sept 5th! Her big brother, Jett is 3 1/2 and Caroline's about to be 6. And time marches on...

I will be able to rest easier years from now knowing that I knew I did my absolute best to cherish our times together. I could inhale these children if it were possible! My how my heart bursts for them. Thomas has been singing at the top of his lungs "JESUS, WAMB of GOD! WORTHY IS YOWR NAME!" in his bed at night. Loudly enough for his sister to respond with her version of "Here I am to worship, here I am to bow down, here I am to say that your my God." (Here baby lisp is about all but gone!)

The other day I stopped in the kitchen and felt an overwhelming sense to pray, not unusual,  and I said "Let's pray" Caroline says "Why?" and Thomas yells "JESUS!" and runs near me. For a split second I felt like that was the prayer that needed to be said, until I look at Thomas and he's in the pantry pointing up at the cheez-its. Yes, he yelled, "CHEEZ-ITS" not JESUS. I laughed so hard that all three of us ended up laughing in the floor.
 And...we are moving. In two days. Just a few miles away, but in some ways it feels so much further.
I read this post on Beth Moore's blog a few months back and it hit sooooo very close to home. So close, in fact, I can't even read it again right now.
In a nutshell, so many memories are made in a house, good times and bad, it's like leaving a friend who stood with you through it all. And this house was our dream house, for Thomas and I. After he went onto heaven, the house became a gathering place for our friends even more so than it was before. It was hard for me to get out alone with two tiny kids (No matter what anyone says, single moms/dads have THE hardest job in the world. Period.) So my church and friends and family came to us. Everyone surrounded us with love and help in this house. Praying, singing, crying and laughing.
We held bible study here with my precious GFN (Girls Fellowship Night) girls every Thursday night, always enjoying the gravel circle drive that could usually hold all our cars, but on some blessed nights we'd have to play Tetris to get them all to fit.

Friends and even people I didn't know spent time leaving their love on the walls with bible verses underneath new paint.

(Thanks, Janice for capturing these sweet photos that mean even more to me now!)
My brother in law surprised a two year old Caroline with a trampoline and a sodded yard to play on after we had taken a trip. Taking trips with grandparents up through our backyard woods to visit the coolest bee tree and playing on the boulders.
Caroline learned to brush her own hair here just a week ago. Thomas learned to brush his teeth here. (Why am I listing those random things instead of the thousand other things? I don't know...it's the little things sometimes.)
As I go through the archaeological dig of closets and drawers I stumble upon pictures Caroline drew years ago, three bottles of onion powder (really? I don't even use the stuff!) and the books! Holy toledo, we have a lot of books! They tell a story all their own, books on marriage, on NASA, on literacy, on pregnancy, on miscarriage, on grief, tons of workbooks from past bible study topics, along with Harry Potter and Fancy Nancy and Brown Bear Brown Bear. Thomas' favorites right now are Goodnight, Gorilla and Curious George and the Firefighters. Caroline and I just finished the first in the "Caroline Years" series chronicling Laura Ingalls Wilder's mom, Caroline, growing up in the 1800s.

What a find that has been. God is good. Caroline Quiner is 5 and a half, has a little brother named Thomas (among other siblings) and her dad has gone on to heaven. (It even says it that way in the book.) It reminds me of when my dad read to us the Little House books when Becky and I were little.

That's all we can do, cherish the little moments...Caroline fixing her glasses after I always put them on her wrong, Thomas messing up his own hair as I try to sweep his blond bangs out of his eyes, and make some memories worth passing on...telling knock, knock jokes in the car (Thomas only knows one he says in one fast breath, Knock knock, impatient cow, MOO!!), taking time to read Curious George (for the 1000th time and Thomas loving to say the part about "big black boots"), making a giant mess baking cookies, praying morning noon and night (and in between.)
Silver Dollar City Dec 2012
Those are the things that get passed on, no matter what the house looks like you are living in, as my sister reminded me this morning, it's the people that make a house a home, not the wood and windows.
Prayers are appreciated as we move into the next chapter of our lives in a beautiful new home where we will continue with traditions and start new ones. One thing ALWAYS stays the same, and that's God's presence and love. Thank you, God!!

First new house family memory: Eating our first meal, of pizza, while putting up the Christmas tree in the new house before it was finished (We...um, I, couldn't wait any longer.) Thomas kept asking "Is it Christmas time?!" I can't imagine a better time for a new start than during the time we celebrate Jesus' birth. He is so faithful. I always say I know there isn't a quota for the bad stuff that happens in life, but focusing hard on the cross and the good times goes a long way when times get hard. This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!


  1. Bonnie,
    You have your priorities straight. With all of the hearbreak of loosing Thomas I did not have the added burden of wishing I had spent more time with him or done more with him. I knew that I had spent as much time as was healthy for each of us. I had talked with him the night before the accident planning activities for the next weekend.
    You will not regret the time spent with your family. Stay close to those precious kiddos and to Tyler; life will be good.
    Love you,

    1. Tracy, thank you so much. I cherish the past and present moments. Looking forward to each new day and what it holds--knowing God will help us through whatever it holds. Love you so much!!

  2. Bonnie! I was just thinking about you yesterday and how we hadn't heard from you in a while. Good to hear from you and see pictures of your sweet family. Glad things are going well and you are busy with making memories. Have a wonderful and blessed holiday season and best wishes as you begin the new chapter in your lives!

    1. Thank you, Susan! Each time I thought about updating our blog I decided to pour into my kids or my marriage instead. I'm praying how to keep a godly balance in life! It tough sometimes but I'm doing the best I can! So good to hear from you!

  3. 1. Hearing your children sing their praises to the Lord is the purest form of worship you will ever witness. Precisely what Jesus meant when he was talking about a child-like faith. That is what I call a God moment.
    2. I busted out laughing at the "cheez-its" part.
    3. I hope you realize how actively God is working in your life. Over half the things I've read on your blog posts I never knew about you. There's no way to miss it. Jesus shines as bright as ever in you, and I want to make sure you know that. :) Love you, friend!

    1. Love you, Whitney!!! I'm so glad cheez-its, I mean, Jesus(!) brought us together! Hope to see you more soon!!

  4. I love that you capture your lives with such beautiful words. Best of luck with all the packing (one of my least favorite things to do in the world) and unpacking and starting new memories in your new home!!! Love ya girl!

    1. Hi Taylor!!
      I'm finding all kinds of things to do instead of pack! Thanks for your kind words! Come visit next time you are in Arkansas!

  5. Tears are flowing. Happy and sad. But so very thankful for all we've had and have. Won't heaven be sooo good!!! You're so wonderful!! Praying for y'all!!


    1. We are just a mist! It sure helps to walk through the mist with an amazing sister!!! WAYO! God provides.

  6. Bonnie
    I always enjoy reading your updates. Your such an inspiration. Keep drawing close to God!! Thank you also for taking the time to read my blog and keeping me in your prayers. I'll keep praying for you and your sweet family as you adjust to the move. Could you email me your email? Thanks!!God bless you!
    Jamie Pennington

  7. Thanks, Jamie! We are all trying to make our way and I finally realized holding tightly to God's hand is the only way I don't get myself lost! Praying for you!!