My title means we've just about made it to spring. I was putting Thomas down to sleep in his crib and I heard the familiar "chirping" noises coming from the frogs singing their hearts out across the road in the pond. My breath stopped in my throat for just a moment as I remember posting about these very sounds last year and the piercing pain it brought because that was such a special memory for me. And here they are again.Thomas telling Mollie that we are supposed to pat the bible, not eat it. Too cute.What do those sounds mean to me? So many things. I've made it another year. It means the spring I have been longing for all winter is here. (Don't get me wrong, I know in Arkansas you do not run out and plant your tomatoes until the last freeze that is sure to come in March, this warm weather is just a tease for now.)
But, spring is working its way through to us. I stepped outside for just a minute and listened, and then noticed the hint of warm spring on my skin while standing in the dark of night, but only feeling the warmth in between the wafts of the cold breeze that is trying its best to let us know winter has not quite let go of its grip on us. The elation and excitement that comes to me each time a season changes was so short lived tonight, I was not sure it even happened. I have been moaning about how awful and long the winter has been and how I can't wait for spring, blah, blah blah--and here it is, just what I wanted, and yet, it is an empty feeling I am left with. Replaced in about 1.5 seconds later with the realization that this is a lesson from God that I have been faced with over and over. No matter what we want, or think we want or need, once we get "it," we realize it doesn't fulfill that longing. Only God can do that. So, as I am eager to shed our coats and jackets once and for all, I go confidently into tomorrow knowing that there is a way to fill that "hole" in my heart and it is not going to come with spring. It is coming from my growing relationship with Jesus. Of course, the spring sunshine and being able to explore the big outdoors with Caroline and Thomas will do great things for my spirits. Yet, I just know that the only way to feel as complete as possible after suffering a loss like we have and for anyone feeling God is not giving them what they need or want: I ALWAYS feel more alive and more "okay" the closer I am to Him, and when I take my eyes off of Him for even a few moments I can tell the difference. So please, all of you, hold me accountable and keep my sweet little family of 3 on the path to know and experience God in all the ways we possibly can. Thank you for all your prayers. Now go outside and enjoy God's creation!Happy 1st Birthday, Ben! We LOVED your backyard!