Friday, April 19, 2013

Jump

I used to scoff when the "experts" said in parenting magazines and blogs that raising children only gets harder after the toddler years. I read those words going on maybe two hours of sleep, worrying about whether my child will ever stop (choose a word) or ever start (choose a word) worrying about SIDS and cancer as I've known it to terrorize the children of friends and acquaintances of mine.
Now as Caroline is 6, I'm starting to get it. The nuances of her gaining more information about our world from places other than myself, the way she's able to make choices without me there right next to her to give her limited options that will keep her safe/protected, and to have the tough conversations that come with just living.
I'm jumping into this next phase of parenting with both feet...just like at the pool, feet first, my eyes shut tight and  holding my nose as to try and keep from drowning. Some days I come up feeling refreshed and renewed, some days I'm left coughing and sputtering from the way I handled it.
God threw me multiple life preservers yesterday, an encouraging friend who can relate to this exact stage of parenting with her own advice, a group of ladies to laugh at my silliness and to encourage me, and Caroline asking at the end of a long day "How does God forget our sins when He knows everything?" He whispered in my spirit to tell her "He chooses. He loves us so much and is so almighty that He chooses to forget. We get  to remember to not choose the same path next time. But we have forgiveness so we can live free of shame and guilt." I try to remember those words apply to myself as well...
As she sleeps upstairs, a new day dawns, and news of fear spreads across Massachusetts and the U.S...I count and say a quick pray before...1, 2, 3...jump!


This was written as part of 5 Minute Friday, a blog prompt that whoever chooses can write for 5 minutes straight with no backtracking, revising etc. Join up or read more here!

12 comments:

  1. Visiting from FMF. I want to send your post to my sister as she has been struggling with her tiny tot and whether parenting will get easier. Your words I thinkw ill be so comforting to her. Great post!

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    1. Thank you for your comment! I'm saying a prayer for your sister! In my limited years of experience some parts of parenting get easier and some get more challenging, but it is all rewarding and worth it!

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  2. I have a toddler - and I feel like I want to hold so tightly onto him! The whole going to school thing scares me... It's about not having that control, the constant having to let go. Eek!

    I'm glad you found fmf - it's a fun community and SUCH a comforting writing exercise!

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  3. I loved your line "God threw me multiple life preservers yesterday". So amazing to see how He works in our everyday.

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  4. I have a three year old son as well, Tanya! I hold so tightly to him, too, because I now know how fast time really does fly by. But each stage is precious! You will love seeing him grow!

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  5. Oh yes. I identify with this so much. I have an almost 7 month old, and I wonder -- how am I to let him explore and discover when there is so much opportunity for hurt in this world? When there is such evil, and such disease? And yet I must...although I am thankful that we are passing out of the SIDS zone, because that has been extremely stressful. But I'm sure more/different stressors lie in wait. I don't know how people live through the sacred terror of parenting without knowing God! I am certainly too weak and fearful and messed up to do it on my own...

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    1. Thank you, Beth! Your comment helps me know I'm not alone! Trusting in Jesus is the only way I know how to breathe and keep one foot in front of the other. A prayer said for you today to feel His peace that surpasses all understanding!

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  6. Here's to parenting fearlessly. It's a scary world, but we've God a good God who is more than a safety net. I truly appreciated these honest and real words. Motherhood keeps us jumping, doesn't it? Stopping by to share grace from Lisa Jo's today.

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  7. Thank you, Jessica! Yes, jumping is tiresome and constant, yet rewarding! : )

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  8. hi there, not sure how I found your blog but wanted to say that the few posts I have read have been wonderful. I read your story about your first husband.......I lost mind too in Oct 2011 and I relate to a lot/most of what you write about. I'm not as far down the road as you are but it's refreshing to see someone choose joy (that's my motto) and continue to live and love life. Good for you! Blessings to you and your family :)

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  9. Check out Moms in Prayer---one of the hugest blessings in my life---

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