Thursday, January 15, 2009


Caroline's first beach vacation at St. George Island, Florida 2007

I am having the hardest time coming up with titles for these entries. How do you put a word or phrase on what we are going through?
I also just realized my last blog entry was my 100th one. "Woo" for me.
I wish I could thank each one of you personally for each card and message being sent my way (through the blog and Facebook,) but I just honestly do not have the energy yet. Just know that each one helps me so much. The prayers are continually getting me through each day. People want to ask how I am doing and I can tell you that I am alive, eating some, sleeping some, kissing Caroline and trying to get all of the paperwork finished. I had no idea at the amount of paperwork and meetings that have to be done all while you are trying to grieve.
I read my sweet friend Tara's blog entry and I have to say I am also one who would rather not "deal" with hard things and push them aside as much as possible. I am dealing with this new reality in very small doses at a time and I am hopeful I will eventually be able to come to terms with this. It will be a long road. One of the most frustrating things is my lack of energy, especially in regards to Caroline. Of course, anyone in her first trimester understands that, but in addition to the stress it makes it so hard I can hardly walk for lack of energy.
Caroline has enjoyed having "Mimi" here this week and loves playing with Lakyn and Canaan. Caroline is always a joy and can always bring a smile to my face without fail.
Each day I have been hearing from Thomas' students and the impact he had on their lives. It is amazing. I enjoy reading about them so much.
When I'm having one of my many "down" moments I keep thinking about how Thomas and I never took each other, or anything for that matter, for granted. God put on my heart to write Thomas a note to him last Sunday night before he had to go back for teacher inservice. I couldn't find paper and almost gave up until I saw some junk mail from the Sierra Club (I'll need to thank them some day for sending that paper!) I wrote how thankful I was that he worked so hard so that I could stay home with Caroline and that I loved him. I put it with his keys in our laundry room. After the horrible Monday, I thought about that note, but was nervous to ask about it-what if he threw it out or it fell to the ground without him seeing it? I mentioned it to Travis and Jacob and they said they remembered seeing it in his car! Jacob went back to the car and rescued it for me. The accident happened so close to our house that I know without a doubt the love I have for him was on his mind when he went to heaven. I take so much solace in that. Thank you, God.
Please tell everyone you love them everyday. We are not promised tomorrow. In fact, we are told that life will bring us trouble in the bible. It will happen. Just as that is a promise, so is the promise in the bible that we are saved and will all meet again in heaven.The first day at our new church building (Mt. Comfort) a little over a year ago.

I also want to say how much our church, Mt. Comfort Church of Christ (formerly North Street Church of Christ) has helped myself and family through these difficult weeks. I knew we had something special there, but it is beyond my limited vocabulary to describe the love and compassion they have shown us. Every where I turn there is someone from church bringing meals, calling, visiting to help with paperwork or praying. I love them all so much and I know I will be leaning on them for years to come. I also have heard from so many others how impressed they have been with our church and I am so happy our friends and family can see what Thomas, Caroline and I have had at our church all along. (We began going there in college.)
That is all for now. Just know that I appreciate each and every prayer and comment/message you send my way. Love you all, Bonnie


  1. Oh Bonnie!! My heart still hurts for you. As a wife, one of the things I thought and even said to a few friends here was that I hope they didn't have a "bad morning" or were not in an argument. Those things happen to the best of us and I just hoped so badly that it wasn't the case for you that morning. I'm so happy to hear that you wrote that note and that you were able to find it! :) What a blessing to know that there is NO DOUBT in your mind that Thomas knew how much you loved him!!

    I'm so thankful you have such a wonderful church family and friends around you to support and help you. Please know that I'm praying for you! When I heard I asked some of my friends to pray. I had someone ask me just today how you were doing. I'm thankful that you are trying with all of your heart to trust the Lord and see His hand in this!! You are amazing!!

  2. A friend of Tara's forwarded me your blog so that I can pray for you. Please know that I am lifting your name up in prayer every single day to our heavenly Father. I pray our God comforts you in a way that surpasses all understanding and gives you rest. Your sister in Christ, Shannon

  3. I found your blog through a friend. I started praying for you as soon as I heard about the accident, before I knew who was involved. We will continue to pray for you and your family.

  4. Wow! That is amazing about the letter, Bonnie. You have to love knowing that he read that letter and that his life was so blessed. My heart and prayers are with you always. Love, Kristina

  5. I just came across your heart breaks for your sweet family. I have no words...other than to tell you that you and your little ones and all who knew and loved your husband will be lifted up in prayer every chance I get, every time I think about this, with all of my heart! I pray that Jesus just pours out His peace to you, in a way that is tangible in its comfort...please know you are prayed for and cared about by many!!!

    In Him--


  6. I am glad to hear that your church family is stepping up to help. Loving others is one of our biggest jobs. Keisha and I are praying for you.

  7. I came across your blog via another. My heart hurts for you! I am SO SORRY that you are having to face something that we all think won't happen to us until we are of old age. God, your family, and your friends will get you to a point again someday soon where you will be able to cope. For now, grieve and love on your sweet daughter. Try to take care of yourself and the little one inside of you. I will be praying for you and your children. God bless!

  8. Came across you from a prayer request from Angie Smith. You, your sweet babies, and your family are in our thoughts and prayers...May God bring you abundant comfort and peace in this time.

    Love & Prayers...

  9. I, too, came to your blog through Angie Smith.. and I want to express my sincerest sympathy to you. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. I am praying for you and your babies tonight.

  10. Praying for you. My heart hurts so much for you, even though you don't know me. I'm so sorry for your loss. Jesus, hold her in Your arms.

  11. Sweet sister in Christ,
    I came across your story via Angie Smith. My heart hurts for you, yet I am at peace knowing that you know your beloved husband is in heaven at this moment. I will cover you and your babies in prayer and I pray that I may take some of your burden for you through prayer. God is ever faithful, even in the darkest of times. I am blessed to be able to pray and wish that I could do more even though we don't know one another. May you have peace tonight...

    The Lord is my shepherd;
    I have all that I need.
    He lets me rest in green meadows;
    He leads me beside peaceful streams.
    He renews my strength.
    He guides me along the right paths,
    bringing honor to His name.
    Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. -Psalm 23:1-4 (NLT)

    In His Grip,

  12. I just saw this on twitter from Angie at Bring the Rain.

    I am praying for you ferociously sister. I am crying for you. I want peace for you. I want the Lord to touch you and wrap His arms around you so you know that your husband is with Him. I want so much to take this away and I don't even know you because I can't even imagine the pain you are in right now with your precious daughter and loved one inside.

    I am praying!

  13. Bonnie...I just found your blog via Angie Smiths blog. All I can say is "I am so very sorry." My heart is hurting and at a loss for what to say. Please know that this stranger is praying for you.

    Romans 15:13 is a verse I've had to claim for myself and I pray that helps you too.


  14. Got the prayer request for you from Angie Smith. And you absolutely do have my prayers and condolences. I'm so very sorry for your loss and I pray that you will feel God's love comforting you now.

  15. Bonnie, you have taught me so much about being a loving wife and mom (and I am older...I should be teaching you :)...even before all of this. You know, that morning when I left for inservice, I was irritated with my husband. It wasn't anything big...I really cannot remember why. And I always have had that fleeting thought, "What if?" when things aren't quite right. But that day my pride and belief that I was in the right shoved the thought from my mind. I wasn't ugly or mean but I wasn't a true loving wife like I should have been. When I first heard what happened that day, I remember thinking without a doubt...Thomas had no doubt he was loved that morning. His wife did not send him off with a scowl or a loud sigh. She loved him and it showed. Thank you for showing me what kind of wife to be. May God continue to touch you in the small ways (like getting that letter back)...

  16. Bonnie, I am still thinking of you and decided to see if you had posted yet. I know Kristen came to see you. I hope you got my message from the funeral home site. I know you have been overwhelmed with so many prayers. Like Kristen said, there are so many people down here speaking so sweetly of you and Thomas. Last night, as I drifted off to sleep, I couldn't stop holding on to my husband as he slept. I know I should always live every day like there's no tomorrow. There are so many opposing feelings. I feel sad if I think I'd be without my boys, but then happy because I know I will see them again one day. I love that you had it on your heart to write him a note. What a comfort. You know the Lord put that on your heart to do that for a reason. I am also so happy to hear that you are expecting. What precious gifts you have from Thomas. With love from VB, Katie Brown

  17. I found your blog through a prayer request from Angie Smith. I can't begin to imagine the pain you are feeling. Please know that I, and many others will be praying for you and your sweet babies.

  18. I came from the Audrey Caroline blog and I just want you to know I am praying for you all.
    Jesus come to this beautiful girl and her precious little ones.. Father hold them close to your heart and bring the Holy spirit into their home in a new way, may famiy and friends come around them in love and just the Peace of Christ engulf their comings and going. Father, you know they are shell shocked and sad, wondering what is going on, but Father we trust for them that you are in Control, you love them, you have plans for them and you will carry them thru this time. Jesus love on this family. Oh Father be there now. Amen

  19. My husband was killed in a car accident July 2007. I know I don't know you but my tears and intense gut ache are a prayer for you tonight. I am praying to the One who knows you... knows the intensity of your sorrow... and the depth of your tears. My words are failing me. May God saturate the spaces you are occupying. I am journeying home with you. And I know God has continued to hold my hand tightly.

  20. Bonnie~ My heart goes out to you and your family. I came across your blog through Angie Smith and I am praying for you. I know words aren't enough, but it's an honor to know that one day I will get to meet your husband in heaven.

  21. Hi Bonnie,

    I just found your blog because of Angie's Twitter update. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband, and I will be praying for you, your beautiful daughter, and that precious baby you are carrying. I pray the Lord's peace will surround you and sustain you through this time, and that He will supply you with the strength to get through each new day. God bless you. Melody, CA

  22. Bonnie-yet again you are amazingly strong. I to sometimes write Seth little notes. I went to his office the other day and saw one sitting there on his desk. I am so glad that you know that Thomas saw that and left this earth knowing how much you love and care for him. I am so glad that you have such a wonderful church family. I pray that God will continue to see you through this pain and sorrow. I also pray that He will give you the strength that you need to face each day. Love you!

  23. Bonnie,
    I found your blog through a prayer request from The Walker's Fore. Please know that I, like many others will be praying for you, sweet Caroline and new baby.

    Jutta, Solingen, Germany
    former Coconut Creek, FL resident

  24. I am so sorry for your loss. I am praying for you.

  25. Bonnie,

    As a wife and mother I can't imagine what you are going thru now. Just remember God will get you thru this and will continue to bless you over and over again. You are in my daily prayers!! Just know that all our prayers are going up for you and your sweet Caroline and the new baby too!!
    In my prayers,

  26. Hi Bonnie,

    Oddly enough, I stumbled upon your site yesterday.

    I first want to tell you that I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you can continue to find comfort in the peace that God will give you.

    In the meantime - I have also been follow another man's blog who lost his wife the day after their daughter was born.

    He has set up a foundation for people just like you. I would urge you to apply. It's such a neat foundation and opportunity for someone to make good out of a tragic situation.

    In His Grip,


  27. Angie Smith from the blog Bring on the rain
    sent out a message on twitter asking everyone to pray for you.

    As I read you blog my heart broke! I will be praying for you every time I think about it.

    My husband and I delivered conjoined twin girls on November 11, 2008. Melody and Madison only lived for an hour. The Lord was so faithful during our pregnancy, the birth and death of our babies.

    Besides the Bible the book 'Suffering and the Sovereignty of God' helped us out so much. We ordered a lot of them to send to families we thought could use them. I would love to send you one of the books. If you want one just email me your address

    The Lord has really used the book of Ecclesiastes to comfort me during this time. Chapter 7 more than any other.
    7:1 A good name is better than precious ointment,
    and the day of death than the day of birth.
    2 It is better to go to the house of mourning
    than to go to the house of feasting,
    for this is the end of all mankind,
    and the living will lay it to heart.
    3 Sorrow is better than laughter,
    for by sadness of face the heart is made glad.
    4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
    but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.
    13 Consider the work of God:
    who can make straight what he has made crooked?

    14 In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other, so that man may not find out anything that will be after him.

    Take some time to mourn the loss of your husband and as you do you will be blown away by how much the Lord will comfort you!

    It comforts me so much to know that God is Sovereign and as Romans 8:28 say And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

    I will be praying for you.

    Vanessa Delgado

  28. Dear Bonnie, Caroline and new baby - I just happened on your site and I wanted to share that you are in my prayers and thoughts. I am so sorry for you and your family. Just know that complete strangers are holding you up in prayer.

  29. I am so sorry for your loss. Each of you are in my prayers~

  30. I am lifting you and your family up in prayer!! God bless you all.

  31. There are no words: I am sorry. You are all in my thoughts and prayers *hugs*

  32. I found your blog via a comment on crashcoursewidow.

    My husband died suddenly on September 2, 2007 of an aortic aneurysm.

    It looks like you have wonderful support from your family, your friends, and your church. I am so glad. It is a rough road, widowhood, but you will certainly make it through. Big virtual hugs from one who unfortunately knows your pain.

  33. Bonnie, Though I dont know you I found your blog Through Angie and I am faithful in my prayers for you. I am sorry for your loss I wish I had more comforting words for you. I will contunie to lift you and your family up in prayers. And for you I will write my hubby a note of love and hug my children even tighter. Blessings to you

  34. i came to your blog through 'bring the rain'. know that i am praying. i can not begin to even understand your emotions and thoughts and feelings. but what i do know is that our god is SO good and so is plan. stay strong.

  35. Hi, Bonnie. You don't know me, but I wanted to tell you how very sorry I am that you are suffering so much right now. I am praying for you and your little girl. I cannot even imagine the pain you are suffering, but I am certain that our great God will continue to give you strength and grace to face each day with its new challenges. I will be praying specifically for strength for you because of your pregnancy. I too am in the first trimester and understand how exhausted you can feel on a good day.
    Words do know justice-I'll keep praying for you.
    With hugs and prayers,
    Rebekah in Texas

  36. praying for you sweet sister. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. praying God's love and mercy be so abundant in your life in the days to come.

  37. I happened across your blog today, and my heart sank when I began to read, first let me say how truly sorry I am that another family is suffering like we are, I lost my brother in October in a random one car accident, he was 36. I of course miss him incredibly, but can only imagine the pain my sweet sister-in-law and you too feel is so much worse and different. Just know that there was a reason for your note to Thomas, the day my brother died he had decided to drive home on his lunch hour, something he never did, to check on my sister-in-law who had come home from work early sick, and the accident happened on his way back to work, there was a reason for his trip home. You and your family,friends, and his students are in my prayers.

  38. You, your daughter and the new babie are on my prayers

    I am really sorry

  39. Lifting you, Caroline and your sweet baby up in prayer today. I came across your story by way of Angie Smith.

    I have no words that can take away or ease your pain, although I so wish that I did.

    I am also an Assistant Principal at a High School, so I will be lifting your husbands co-workers and students up in prayer as well. Sounds as if your husband really left life long impressions on those students. Sure would be nice to have more people like him in education that truly made a difference.

    Oh how I wish that things were different for you and your sweet family.

    I will be in constant prayer for you and have added you to my list of daily inspirations.

    Kind of strange we have many connections...I was raised Church of Christ, have a 19 month old daughter, am pregnant with a little boy, am an educator and my daughters middle name is Caroline.

  40. I came here from Angie Smith - I am so terribly sorry for your loss! I will keep you and your little ones n my heart and prayers.

  41. I don't know you, but you may want to go to he may be able to help you through this difficult time...he recently went through a similar experience when his wife died of a pulmonary embolism 27 hours after his daughter was born...
    My thoughts and prayers are with you...

  42. I've come to your blog to Angie (@ Bring the Rain) and am so sorry to hear of your loss.

    I'm praying for you and yours.

  43. Praying for you sweet sister in Christ!

  44. my sweet friend! i pray for and think about you and caroline constantly. it makes me so happy to come here and see that so many others are doing the same. god is providing for you and i hope you can feel it.

  45. Hi its Lyndsey I work with Melissa, I just wanted to say I am so sorry I can't imagine what you are going through I pray everyday for you and I will continue to do so!!!! May God hold you close and give you peace and strength now and the years to come, he is so evident in your life and shines through you!!

  46. Bonnie,
    I came across your blog through another blog of a widower ( and I wanted to express my condolences to you, Caroline, Baby #2, and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss! Even though you don't know me, I'm praying for you! XO

  47. Hi,
    You don't know me, but I found your blog through a comment on Matt Logelin's blog. I'm so, so sorry to hear what happened. Reading your last post made me cry, and I just wanted to let you know that people as far away as Philadelphia are thinking about you and your children.

  48. Bonnie-
    You are amazing. You are an amazing wife, mother, sister, uplifter, teacher, and best friend. Thank you for leading my life to God. Thomas thanks you also for encouraging him to love God more each day. There is nothing more important in your life than a relationship with Jesus and you have given that gift to so many people. You are the best example of what a wonderful Christian woman should be and that is why you have so many people praying for you. I can't express what you have done for my life and my eternity. How do you thank someone for that? Thank you for always asking me if I said my prayers before we fell asleep when we were little. You mean the world to me and I hope you know what an example you are being to so many people. I love you.

  49. Dear Bonnie, I read about what happened through Angie Smith's twitter. I am so sorry for your loss & can not even imagine the pain you are going through. But He does. And I know you know this. But I also wanted to share with you another lady who also knows your sorrow. Her name is Kellie Buffington. I do not know her personally, just through her blog.
    Her blog address is:
    Hopefully you can just click on this & see her story. She may have some valuable words of wisdom for you.
    I will be praying for you.
    In Christ, -Gail

  50. Dear Bonnie-
    I came across your blog through another blog. My heart hurts for you and your family. I will keep you all in my prayers. My husband I just lost our first child to triploidy syndrome after 20 hours on this Earth. I can't say I know your exact pain but I do know that with God we can do anything and overcome anything. Stay strong.

    Bethany McNease
    Sumrall, MS

  51. Just letting you know that I'm sending lots of prayers up for you and your precious baby girl.

  52. Bonnie, I found your blog through Angie, and wanted to let you know I am lifting you up in prayer at this moment. I am so sorry. There are no words.

  53. Bonnie, Caroline, & Baby Culp,

    I had the privilege of working with your mother-in-law at St. Margaret's and she is a woman I admire so much. One of my favorite parts about working with her was hearing all the wonderful stories about her family. I have never met any of her children, but I feel like I have through all the stories, pictures, and the Culp Family cookbook! I say this honestly--the "Thomas, Bonnie, & Caroline" stories were always my favorites because they radiated with love! It was just always so clear to me that you & Thomas share an incredible devotion to one another & to your beautiful daughter.

    I was devastated for you all when I heard the tragic news. I have been praying so hard for your whole family the past two weeks, and have been following the stories everyone has been sharing. I am also a follower of Angie Smith’s “Bring the Rain”, and was stunned when I saw a Twitter update to “pray for Bonnie”--I recognized immediately who she was talking about! I was so in awe of God’s work—how news of this loss has crossed the country and now millions—millions—are praying for your family! And that’s the way it should be—it’s easy to see that Thomas’s passion for life and love for his family had no boundaries!

    I will be continually praying &thinking of all of you during these difficult times—praying that you continue to be strengthened by God’s love; that you will be comforted by the sweet memories of such a wonderful person; and that Caroline & the new baby will always know of their father’s love & his tremendous impact on so many lives. God bless!

    Amy Lynn

  54. Bonnie, I came here via Angie from Bring the Rain's twitter. I just want to tell you how sorry I am. I read about Thomas and looked at the Facebook page with tears in my eyes. he sounds like such a great guy!

    I am familiar with grief. My circumstances are different, but I think I do have an inkling of how you must be feeling right now. I will be praying for you.

    I can tell you that the sharp edge of the pain lessens with time. But we were made for relationship and you will always have a space in your heart that is uniquely Thomas’s. Don't let people try to tell you otherwise.

    HUGS…may Jesus hold you very close in this time.

  55. Ijust want you to know I am praynig for you...there's nothing I feel like I should say except i am praying for you and your family...

  56. My heart hurts for the pain you must be going through... You have my love and prayers...

  57. I just stumbled across your blog and I want you to know how VERY sorry I am for your loss. Twin and I will be praying for you. May God wrap his arms around you and your family.

  58. I came across your blog today and read it through tears. I'm praying for you and your sweet babies. My own mother went to be with Jesus when I was 21 months old. Please, for Caroline, keep some of Thomas' things. Anything he wrote, pictures of him, old school items. I don't have many of my mother's things, but they are things I treasure today as an adult. With Love and my sincere condolences, Lisa in San Diego.

  59. I came across your blog...I am so sorry for your loss. May God give you the peace you need to get you through these tough times. You have such a beautiful daughter. I am praying for you.
    Amy Kinard
    Fort Polk, LA

  60. I came to this site by way of a comment post to this link on Matt Logelin's blog. I'm so sorry for your lost. I can't begin to imagine your pain. Please know my thoughts are with you and your family.


  61. Bonnie,
    Alesha Stam called me to tell me about what happened, but I didn't have a way to get a hold of you. I am grateful that Brenda Love sent me the address for your wonderful blog. I am praying for you and your beautiful daughter.

    Mandy Taylor

  62. I'm so sorry for your loss. You may be able to find support from this site.
    God bless.

  63. I am so, so sorry for your loss.

  64. Bonnie, you may not remember me, but I used to work with you at Harp (I was the speech therapist there for less than a year, about 4 years ago). My biggest memory of you is that I instantly knew you loved Jesus, and you sincerely cared for every person you came into contact with. My heart broke for you when I heard the news about Thomas - I am so sorry (those words are not adequate). Please know that I have been praying for you and will continue to do so. God is laying you on many hearts so that they will pray - He knows your pain and your need.

  65. sometimes saying nothing isn't an option, but there truly is nothing to ease the pain. I'm a mother of 5, and was diagnosed with a Brain Tumor last year...this mini tragedy has rocked my world...and in retrospect it's nothing compared to your grief. What can I send you sweetheart? Some starbucks, a few books for your daughter...I would be honored to help.

  66. Just came across your blog from Life as a Frazier...I can not even begin to fathom what you are going through...
    prayers are being lifted in your families name to our Heavenly Father tonight from a sister in Christ in Portland Oregon.

  67. My heartfelt condolences for your loss. I wanted to pass on information about a foundation that helps parents of young children who have lost the child's other parent. I hope it can help you in your journey.

  68. I know you don't know me but I came over from a friends blog. I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and I am here if you ever need someone. It seems you don't at the moment but know that I am here. I am not sure where you live but since that pic was taken in St. Augustine I thought you might live close. I live in Live Oak, FL and if it's close to that and you ever need any help with anything please let me know. I would love to help. I am praying for you!!

  69. Your blog was sent to me via a friend asking for every prayer for you and your family. Though we do not know each other, you and your little girl and new baby are in my prayers. I couldn't even choke back my tears as I read your last two entries. I am so sorry for your incredible loss. Many of us are thinking of you praying for comfort. God Bless you and your children.

  70. I found your blog somehow through Kelly's Korner. I am very sorry for your loss! Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  71. Bonnie,

    Wanted you to know that we are thinking of you and continuing to pray for you. I came across your blog through Raven. I know she thinks of and prays for you, Caroline, and baby everday. She wishes she could be there with you.

    You are so strong and it is a blessing to witness your faith in the Lord. What a privilege to read your postings and to hear the story of the note you wrote Thomas on Monday. I know you will cherish that note. You and Thomas are a wonderful example of a Christian couple and family.

    I'm leaving you my email if you ever need to talk just let me know. I'm always hear to listen. :)

    Roxy Smith

  72. Bonnie-I came across your blog through Angie Smith at Bring the Rain. Oddly enough, when I started reading, I got goose bumps. We live in Springdale and have heard of your families awful tragedy. My daughter and I pray everyday on the way to school and we've prayed for you, your husband and your babies often.

    In fact, just the other day my daughter came home from school (she goes to Helen Tyson) and said "Hey, do you remember that teacher? He had his seatbelt on after all!" It was good news to hear.

    I can't even imagine what you are going through. I pray that God will ease your pain somehow that His light will shine through this horrible time. May you find the peace that passes all understanding.

    God bless.

  73. the Lord brings you and Caroline to mind daily and we are praying for you...we are here whenever you need us. our girls would love to play with Caroline anytime you need some extra rest...i'll get your number and call soon.

  74. You and your family are in my prayers. God bless.

    Your sister in Christ...

    My family and I attend Fruitland Church of Christ in SE Missouri.

  75. Dori is my sister-in-law and she asked me to be in prayer for you. It breaks my heart to hear of what you and Caroline are going through and I am keeping you uplifted in my prayers. Thomas sounds like such a wonderful man and husband. The story about your note to him really spoke to me to reach out to my husband more than I do. Thanks for blogging about that.
    There is no doubt in my mind that God is using your faith through all this to spread His love.
    Angela Patrias

  76. Just wanted to let ou know that I am PRAYING hard for you, sweetie. I too, have went through a loss recently (miscarriage) and I know that those Prayers are so healing.


  77. I hope you don't mind but I put you on our blog today. I stumbled across your blog over the weekend and you have been on my mind ever since. I believe prayer is a powerful thing and I just wanted to lift you and your family up at this time. I pray God will comfort you and give you the strength you need for Caroline and that unborn baby. God Bless

  78. P.S. I hope you don't mind that I wrote about you on our blog.

  79. Bonnie,
    I am glad the note was found and the peace you have to know Thomas had his girls on his mind. My prayers are with you and all of your family each day. As I scrolled through posted messages, I was amazed at how many people started with, "You don't know me." Not only are you surrounded by the love of God through so many prayers, but what an example of a faithful servant you are giving to others. As I read your postings, I am amazed at the courage and love for God you express through your words. Bonnie-please know I am thinking of you and praying for you, Caroline, and you new blessing.

  80. Bonnie, I just came across your blog. It has truly touched my heart. I feel so bad for you and your children. But, I know your sweet husband is smiling down from heaven on you. I am sure he knows how much you love him. You are so right we should never take anyone for granted. I am so happy that the two of you are christians. And you will see each other again.
    Hugs, Terrie

  81. I happened upon your blog today while searching for a church in Arkansas. When I saw your post I wanted to send you my deepest sympathies. My heart breaks at your loss and what all you must be going through. May God send you comfort and peace and may He bless you and your children.
    In Him,
    Jennifer Jones
    Bridgeport, Alabama

  82. Bonnie, I happened on your blog from a link on another, and I just wanted to give you my deepest sympathy on your loss. Words are inadequate at times like these, but prayers aren't. You have mine.

    I have lost close loved ones, and like you, the thing that got me through was my absolute faith that I would be with them again some day in Heaven. Your husband was very, very blessed to have you in his life. What a precious woman you are! I have no doubt at all that he knew how loved he was. It's all over your face for even complete strangers to see.

    You are so correct in telling people you love that you love them. That's one of the most important things we can do, and that includes our friends. I've had friends die suddenly as well, and it's comforted me to know that my last words to them were words of love. I try to practice this in my own life, and it's good advice which I'm glad you shared this with others.

    Take good care of yourself and your babies, and wrap yourself up in that mantle of love.



  83. Bonnie-

    I am also a widow. My husband and I were in a car accident on August 22, 2008 and he passed away 6 days later. My widowhood has been 139 days now...

    I am 28 years old and the five months have been the worst and hardest of my life. We were married last February. I do not have any children but I do not know if that makes widowhood easier or worse for those who do.

    Just take everything in small doses. It will take a long while for everything to fully take hold. I'm not even sure if I am living in reality or not. One friend of mine compared it to a tsunami at your door and every now and then a new surge of water will come in.

    The accident for me was only a day before our six month wedding anniversary. I had a love letter from Roger that we were suppose to open on our six month anniversary and I am so glad I have that.

    Just get as much sleep as you can. Take lots of notes (I carried a little notepad around for a long time). My memory is just awful and I can't remember things for anything.

    Keep blogging. Get those emotions out. If not, they will get out in other ways.

    Keep leaning on all your friends and family and keep voicing your needs to them.

    Know that there is a group of us that will understand your thoughts and feelings and will support you even if its virtually. But also try to find a great grief counselor. It has helped me tremedously.

    This journey is long and hard. It is unique and full of ups and downs. Do not be hard on yourself. This is one of the single most traumatic events of your life.

    Thinking about you, Star

  84. You don't know me and I don't know you but we serve the same God and so you are my sister. My heart breaks for your pain right now and I wish that there was something that I could do for you. Please know that you are being thought of and prayed for.

  85. More prayers coming to you from West Virginia. May God keep you and your little ones safe, and your husband's memory alive through your stories of him.

  86. Bonnie,
    My heart truly goes out to you and your family. I have never met you but you and your sweet babies are in my thoughts and prayers. I am deeply sorry for your loss. Please know many are praying for you during this time.