Tuesday, January 20, 2009

God's Working

Thomas in Mud Cave 2007 (It has not been "photoshopped")

(I think it helps me to write, and after a day like today, I think I should write. We will see if I feel this is "postable" material. First I want to thank all of the prayer warriors who have left comments-many came from Angie's "Bring the Rain" blog. It is so encouraging to read the comments and messages all of you have left me.)

I keep remembering more things that I don't want to forget. (Does that make sense?)
  • Thomas polished his shoes several times a week, being pregnant the smell got on my nerves, but I never told him that.
  • He always ironed his clothes himself in the morning before work. I never took for granted the work he did around the house.
  • The Saturday before the accident I was feeling particularly "icky" about food. He fed Caroline and himself and then asked what sounded good to me. I told him guacamole and he promptly went in the kitchen at 8:00pm and made me guacamole-yes from scratch.
  • He was really getting into cooking and my mom got him an awesome Furi brand knife last year. I bought him a Furi knife sharpener for Christmas and he LOVED IT. Seriously, our friends got tired of hearing about how cool the sharpener is.
  • We all went together to a Ladyback Razorback basketball game on Dec. 31st with some friends. He loved asking Caroline about "Boss Hog" so that she would tell how the mascot would stick his tongue out and she would say "away!" to him.
  • Thomas always carried Caroline into church from the car. She got to where she didn't even want me to do it.
  • When Caroline would take her money down to the front during the children's offering at church, he would always wait at the end of our row to make sure she knew where to go back to sit with us. She gave us high fives. (Thanks, Erin for reminding me of this.)
  • Caroline loved to watch him juggle. She asks me and Mimi to juggle and we can't, it makes me sad.
  • She loved it when he would play Row, Row, Row Your Boat on his guitar.
  • He read all the time. Magazines: Sailing, Discover, National Geographic. Books: He was just finishing a collection of Isaac Asimov stories. He loved science fiction (not so much the fantasy, more the hard science fiction.)
  • He would take pictures with his phone for reminders--birthday gift ideas and books at Barnes and Noble that he wanted to look for at the library for free.
I will add to this list. Maybe now I can get some sleep. Thank you for the continued prayers, I can feel them. God has been showing that he is taking care of me. Doesn't make it any easier, but a little more bearable.

47 comments:

  1. Sounds like you had an amazing husband! I found your blog through "Bring the Rain"~ I am so sorry to hear your story. What a beautiful family you have! I pray that you are finding great comfort in the prayers that are pouring out for your sweet family and remembering all the wonderful memories you have of your husband! Thinking of you! Amy K. in Charleston, SC

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  2. Lovely pic of your dear hubby.
    Thanks for the reminder to cherish those who are here instead of wishing that they were different somehow.
    Keep remembering; for you, for your kids. You will be glad that you did. And when it hurts, it's ok to stop for a while.
    Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Jason Gray has a beautiful song based on the Beatitudes called "Blessed Be." His web site is http://www.jasongraymusic.com/site.php#
    Music always helps me the most.

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  3. My thoughts are with you and your family as you go through this difficult journey of grief.

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  4. I found your blog from Bring the Rain and just wanted to let you know that my prayers are with you. I don't know what you're dealing with, but I do know that we serve an AWESOME God and he will carry you though this journey.

    Jenny {Prattville, AL}

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  5. I found your site a few days ago & can't stay away. I wanted to let you know that I am praying for you & give you a huge cyber hug. You are holding yourself together very well. I'm sure your husband would be oh so proud.
    And I agree with Ginger234 - THANK YOU for reminding us that tomorrow is not a promise & to cherish the little things & the ones we love.

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  6. Oh honey, I am so sorry and my heart aches for what you are going through. I live in Tontitown, and attend FBC Fayetteville. My husband teaches at JO Kelley, and I know your sweet husband is fondly remembered there. Please post on here if you need anything. I don't know you, but want so much to help. I will keep you in my prayers.

    -Stephanie

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  7. I found your blog from a link from another blog and I can't stop reading. Your story is breaking my heart. I am so sorry for your loss. Your husband sounds like he was an amazing man.

    I am not one to leave comments, but that picture really caught my eye. Whenever I see sun rays like that I think of it as God taking souls to him. I think you finding that picture and posting it here shows us where he is.

    I don't know if that even makes sense, but somehow it comforts me when times are tough. Your family is in my prayers.

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  8. Hello friend,

    Thank you for sharing your husband with all of us. He sounds like he was a wonderful man. I will continue to pray for you and your precious little ones.

    Blessings-- Rachel

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  9. Praying for you. God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of peace love and sound mind.

    Love, Holly in OKC
    Found your blog through bring the rain

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  10. I found your blog through a friends and my cousins knew your husband. What an amazing man!! The picture you posted of him is amazing. We will continue to pray for you, Caroline, and baby.

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  11. I just started reading your blog, because my mom showed it to me. She teaches at JO Kelly Middle School, and actually worked with your husband while he was interning there. She said he was such an amazing teacher and the kids loved him! I work at the Springdale Police Dept and as soon as I heard about the accident and that it was a Springdale teacher with a wife and family I instantly began praying for you guys, and still continue to!

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  12. Oh Bless your sweet sweet heart!
    I came here from Bring the Rain, and I'm just so so sorry for your loss. ( I hate that phrase, but don't know what else to say.)

    God keep you and comfort you and I love hearing about the sweet memories. I pray God will bring every one to your mind and preserve them for you.

    Hugs and God's peace from Michigan
    Kelly

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  13. There are no words really....I will say that the night I found your blog...I had an awakening that I have never had before...Suddenly everything that seemed so important to me in my marriage, no longer mattered....life becomes routine, and insanely repetitive...because, of you I have made a vow, that I will never, ever, let this happen again...I will always remember your story...and though I know it does not seem very valuable, know that even though we have no idea why you are going through this or what Gods plans are for you...you made a difference in me...by one little post....thank you from the bottom of my heart!

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  14. Oh the little things that seems so normal day to day. Love you Bonnie. We are always praying for you Caroline and new baby.

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  15. i came here today hoping you had written. the Lord has put you on my heart so much since i first saw your blog. i pray for you every single day.

    your hubby sounds amazing. what a gift from the Lord! your tragedy has reminded me to be thankful for all the little things.

    praying He keeps you in perfect peace,
    Shannon

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  16. Bonnie, I don't know what to say other than that I am still praying for you. You are an amazing woman and Caroline and new baby are so blessed to have you as a mom. Please let me know what I can do to help. Love you.

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  17. I love that picture and the precious memories of him. Praying for you.

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  18. Bonnie,
    I taught at Har-Ber with Thomas. I just wanted to let you know we are all still praying for you, Caroline, and "new baby". We are determined to keep Thomas's memory alive and working on ways to do that. Har-Ber faculty is a family and we miss Thomas very much.
    I'm a blogger and I've enjoyed reading through your blog.
    Praying, praying, praying for you!
    Blessings to you.
    Kim Oliver

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  19. Praying for you...

    babygooch.blogspot.com

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  20. I came to your blog from "Bring the Rain", and I just want you to know that I am remembering you and your family in my prayers. You had an incredibly amazing husband. Your last post about the things he did really made me think about my own family. Thank you for sharing your feelings. I'll hold my loved ones a little closer tonight.

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  21. Sweet, sweet. You can remember away on your blog at anytime. Writing is good therapy.

    I am continually in prayer for you! You are exactly right-a relationship with God doesn't necessarily make the pain easier, just a whole lot more bearable.

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  22. I found you through Bring the Rain and have been checking daily to see how you are doing. I am so sorry for what you are going through and I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you, Caroline and the precious baby you are carrying.

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  23. Bonnie- I was thinking the other day about how Thomas was the president of the "Hannah fan club"... or maybe it was the other way around. I was so amazed that she loved him so much when she was a baby with all his "tallness" and that deep voice... I guess she sensed his goodness. Love you.

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  24. I have never visited your blog. I also live in Ark. (NE corner). I am crying as I leave this comment. I am so sad for you and your family, and will certainly add you to my prayer list. laurie

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  25. I truly admire your strength Bonnie! You are surrounded by such a strong network of friends and family! I think about you all of the time! I am looking forward to seeing you again soon so I can give you and Caroline a big hug!
    A Greetan

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  26. What wonderful memories to record...not just for yourself but for Caroline. I have read several caringbridge websites of families that have lost loved ones (though usually after a long illness) and I know the one thing I read over and over is the fear of forgetting. I know you won't. But I also know you will always treasure those little things like today's post...those precious memories. Praying each day...

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  27. I am so sorry for your loss! The memories you posted were so moving to me. It is the little things like that -that happen every day-we should hold and embrace! I think about you often during the day and pray that you feel God holding you in his arms during this very difficult time.

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  28. Praying for you. I came to your blog from Angie's, adn i can feel the same absolute trust in God in your blog. May your memories bring you peace in the coming days.

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  29. I don't know you but I found your blog thru Angie Smith's blog. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. You and your husband have such a beautiful daughter and I know the baby that you are pregnant will be just as beautiful. BTW, I think Caroline looks A LOT like your husband. If you are able to see that as well, I'm sure you are thankful for her resemblance to him. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I can't imagine. My 23 year old brother died suddenly and unexpectedly February 20th of last year. It is something, that with each day, you get used to not having that person around. But it's such heartache. I know from just reading a few of your blogs that you and Thomas were big believers in God and in Heaven and I know Thomas is safe and watching over you, Caroline, and your unborn baby. You are in my prayers Bonnie and may God give you strength and peace for months and years to come. God bless you.

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  30. Praying for you as you cope.

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  31. Praying for you!! You are a very strong woman and God will get you thru this!! I'm so glad you have such good memories of your husband. Take care of your two sweet babies here and on the way.
    Love in Christ,

    Jessi Shoup

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  32. Hey, I found your blog on Matt Logelin's blog, (www.mattlogelin.com) One of your friends posted over there. I am so heartbroken for you, Caroline, and your newest addition. I will pray for you and your family.

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  33. Bonnie,
    I know you've read this a million times now, but I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and I've been praying for you ever since I found out about Thomas (when you first blogged about it). I love you!

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  34. still praying for you sweet friend!!!!! we all love you!!!

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  35. I just found your blog via Twice as Nice. I am at a loss for words. I just want to say that I am profoundly sorry about your loss and greatly admire your strength. We surely do not know why things happen as they do, but I know you and your daughter are surrounded by people who love you...so thankful for that. Your husband sounded like a very special, loving person and I know he will be greatly missed. You and your daughter will be in my prayers and thoughts. Love to you, Susan

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  36. I came by from another blog to let you know I am praying for you and your family.♥

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  37. I love learning these things about Thomas! What a special husband, father, brother, son,uncle, Christian person he was. I think this is great what you are doing---writing---I think it would be very helpful in your coping.

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  38. You are so precious. I think it is great that you are keeping the blog going. So many of us are praying for you and truly care what's on your heart. Thanks for sharing some of it with us. I was very touched by your 'list' of things you are remembering about Thomas. Some made me laugh, some made me cry and they all made me see how much you love him and he loved you and Caroline.

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  39. Bonnie,

    I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Kelly (Allen) Grady

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  40. What a great picture...I pray for healing in your heart...Blessings

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  41. I found your blog by way of "Rose Haven". My heart was deeply saddened. Just know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your little ones! The Lord's arms are around you.

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  42. That picture is just amazing!

    Colleen

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  43. What an amazing picture! I am praying for you and your family!

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  44. Found your blog through Bring the Rain. I am at a loss for words, but want you to know that I am praying for you and your sweet family. May you have strength and peace in the days to come.
    Carrie in Fort Smith, AR

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