My sweet friend, Ashley, posted this video on her blog. The tears fell freely from my eyes while reflecting during this video. I am crying for the joy of the blessing of my two babies and I am crying in sadness that I will never have an "ordinary day" again. Each moment or day is unordinary for me because Thomas is not here to share those ordinary moments.
I have always been a "savor every moment" type of person, but this video put many things into perspective for me. I've been pretty down for a couple of weeks now (more down than usual, I should say,) but after watching this, I am praying to God tonight to change my heart from longing for the past and the way I think our lives should have been to pouring my heart and soul into the present and simply loving my children for the amazing gifts that they are and fervently praying for them to have hearts for Him...As they lie sweetly, sleeping in their beds at this very moment.
Beautifully said..
ReplyDeleteYou have really touched my heart today. I have 3 teens....my oldest was home for the weekend from college. This morning as I had to hug him goodbye....my mind went back to all the years of loving and raising him. He turned out to be even more wonderful than I'd ever imagined.
ReplyDeleteTime is a racer. It speeds past us and leaves us with so many memories. Good & bad.
Now, I focus on our 2 girls. Both are students at my high school where I work. They are so busy with "stuff" and we just follow along. Because we know....we'll be hugging them as they leave for college too very soon.
Your family is precious! Praying that God is holding you tight and filling your heart with joy!
I do not know how I found your blog but I am thankful as I read of your faith as you travel this journey of grief.Our family grieves as well, one of our 3 yr. twins with the Lord 1/23/07 a very short cancer journey. I know each journey holds its own uniqueness, a spouse different than a child yet somewhere we all meet in the valley and we find and know our great Lord Jesus is there. Keep clinging to Him, keep in the Word, it has truly been my life support. So many have spoken such comforting words and sought to bring my heart hope but the truth of the matter is, there is nothing like the "living words of scripture" to meet our hearts deepest night and cries. Your family is beautiful!
ReplyDeleteCindy Morris
Bonnie, thanks for sharing this with all of us. I collect books and buy them as I stroll around Barnes & Noble... and behold I have the book sitting on my shelf and I will definitely start reading tonight. I have a son and a daughter. My daughter lives 3000 miles away...going to college...and there's not one day we dont' talk on the phone (several times a day) and not one day that I don't reminisce on the memories. She is amazing and I look back and say where did all the years go. They do speed up and go by fast. Enjoy your lil ones every minute of every day. XXX
ReplyDeleteBonnie, I hope that God grants your prayer. It must be so hard to just be present and totally enjoy moments without wishing things were different. Don't feel guilty about this! You are doing the best you can. I will specifically pray that this gets better with time. Love you and think of you often!
ReplyDeleteOh, Bon. So hard to watch, yet so beautifully said. What a gift it is to have the honor of raising our precious babies. I am so thankful we are able to do it together. I think I might sneak into Aly's room tonight and give her an extra kiss. I love you and I'm here for you every minute you need someone. Thanks for the reminder to enjoy every second of those ordinary days.
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