The Road Not Taken

Day 6

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Yesterday, I asked us all to “MOVE” in the direction toward Jesus.

So what did I do? I strapped Ethan into his stroller, Thomas jumped onto his bike and we moved.

Some people call it jogging, but for me it is wogging. It’s not quite jogging and not just walking. It’s the perfect combo for a newbie “runner.” As we were moving, I realized I needed to jog just a bit to keep up with Thomas as he coasted down the hills, but when it got time to go up a hill he was stuck. He asked for my help and I slowed down and gave him the little push he needed. He was back on track. Then we would come to a more even area and we were both pretty comfortable and enjoying the scenery until it was time to push or coast together. 

It hit me immediately, not surprising because EVERYTHING in creation is a METAPHOR for God’s love, that this is why we need people. Yes, Jesus is everything, but God created us to be with people! He can try to get us to “move” all He can, but it sometimes takes a hand on the back and a gentle push to make it up the mountain, and how much more fun is coasting with someone down a hill than by ourselves? Thomas and I had the best time pushing each other along our route. 

However.

Yes, I took a picture! I knew it was "For such a time as this!"

 The next day Caroline joined us. She’s a little older, a little faster. It was the opposite experience as recounted above. Thomas was all about being “first” and being the fastest. It was disastrous. God tapped me on the shoulder, okay more like shouted at me in my head, “You, Bonnie, who I love as my daughter, are acting just like your son.” 

Thomas yelled at me as I tried to push him up the hill as I did the day before, instead of joyfully accepting the help. Just like when I think I’ve got it all together and don’t heed wise advice that could make the journey easier; I wouldn’t want to appear weak in front of my wiser peers, right?

 He then got off and pushed his bike to get going faster by himself. At this point I knew he didn’t want to accept help so I watched him sweat and struggle and become more frustrated by the second. Hmmm…sounds like somebody I know...”This burden is so hard and I’m barely making it!”…God tried to show me help along the way and I kept my independence and pride by not reaching out for the hand He provided.

Then just for added emphasis, as the road became more forgiving and Thomas could coast along easily, he raced ahead Caroline and I seeing our home as our destination. Little did he know Caroline and I had planned a different route.

So as he gleefully gloated at being “first” home, I told him to go on inside with dad while Caroline and I continue on without him. Whoa. He did not expect that, and you can imagine the feelings expressed. I told him, “I had another plan for our trip and you will just have to miss out on the fun because you insisted on doing it alone and racing ahead.” 

I’ve known for some time I have the tendency to race ahead of God, and then I end up frustrated, tired, and on a different path than He intended. I’ve made a real effort to match pace with God for the last couple of years and let me tell you, dear reader, it has made ALL the difference. (I’m hearing Robert Frost there, too.)

He has shown me the blessings in resting, waiting expectantly, and obeying even when it seems weird to the outside world. Y'all, His timing is perfect. 

I’m able to recognize when I am not letting God set the pace a little more quickly now days. My warning signs appear: worry, tiredness, impatience with my kids…you get the picture.

What are your warning signs that you are out of pace with God? 

Move in the direction of Jesus a tiny bit each day and you will match His pace. You won't believe the reward waiting for you when you make a move. Just do it. Insert Nike swoosh here :)

“Dear friend, take my advice;
    it will add years to your life.
I’m writing out clear directions to Wisdom Way,
    I’m drawing a map to Righteous Road.
I don’t want you ending up in blind alleys,
    or wasting time making wrong turns.
Hold tight to good advice; don’t relax your grip.
    Guard it well—your life is at stake!
Don’t take Wicked Bypass;
    don’t so much as set foot on that road.
Stay clear of it; give it a wide berth.
    Make a detour and be on your way.”
Proverbs 4:10-15

Move it, MOVE IT!

Day 5

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A friend encouraged me after I lamented last week my running ability (more like, lack of ability.) She said "Don't worry about running, just move."

I knew what she said was significant for me.

 

We worry so much about getting to the "end" of whatever we are going through or over eager to reach the goal of what we have our eyes on that we tend to just stand still and not take any action. A type of paralysis. But what did it take for me to get from thinking about running to actually moving? It took me reaching out, just a tiny bit, to someone wise. It was just a little encouragement from her that got me going again.

  

Just move.

I recently posted about anxiety and I was reminded again how obeying leads to blessings. It’s not always a direct, immediate result, but it does lead there for sure. So when you know you've heard a piece of wisdom, let's all do ourselves a favor and ACT on it. I'm grieved by the fact that God has imparted wisdom over the years through studies or a wise friend, and I knew when I heard it that it was meant for me, only to quickly fall back into my safe routine and let the wisdom fade so much until I then I ask myself, "Did I really hear that?" (See Genesis 3:1) The seed of doubt sure sprouts quickly, wouldn't you agree?

I’ve been able to witness over the last year how Satan absolutely loves for us to feel alone and forgotten. He tells us lies that we shouldn’t burden anyone with our problems, either they are too little or too big for anyone else to hear, or that “everyone has their own things to deal with and they won’t have time for me.” I can’t tell you the amount of times I have heard, “I didn’t want to be a burden” as a response when someone finally obeyed and opened up about her trial.

It makes me so mad that at one time or another we’ve all bought into the lie that sharing pain is a burden and we suffered alone. Our stories are written by God and meant to be shared. Yes, sometimes is takes discernment on when to share, but take away the reason of being a burden as the reason for not sharing. I know for a fact that sharing a person's burden can be a blessing for a person. I remember when Thomas died someone said, "Please don't take away the blessing I receive from being able to help you." WHAT A RELIEF, that was to hear! Because man, did I ever feel like the biggest burden ever! Pregnant, single mom? It sure took a village during those days, and now I want to pour out the love that was poured into me for so many years. God sure is amazing.

It also makes me sad that some Christians feel that Jesus is all he or she needs and feel the need for independence from the "body" of Christ.

(FYI Here are 17 verses about the need for community from the bible.)

Okay, so you may be saying "I have a church community, a small group that meets together or a bible study group, so I am “good” on my “community" I can check that box."

Y’all, listen up. Just from my experiences lately, I know that people involved in “groups” are still afraid to share. They are afraid to take off their “strong Christian” mask and let people in and they are almost dying inside. I don’t have a magic antidote for this, but I do know what has helped me. Find one trusted person and simply have a real conversation. That’s it really. 

We learned in Griefshare that “Grief shared is grief diminished.” Amen. It’s the truth. Grief doesn’t always mean losing a person, it can mean grief over a diagnosis, trouble in your family, or whatever else is causing your brain to work overtime, but your heart isn’t being helped.

Back to my friend who said, “Just move.”  You know what I’ve learned? When you hear a piece of advice that rings true with wisdom, you ACT. You don’t just dwell on it, think on it for a while until you lose the meaning of the advice…put it to USE people! (I’ve had to learn this the long, hard way.) What is one tiny (or big) move God has been nudging you to do? Your "move" may mean just putting that “nudge” into words in your journal, or you may be needing to move your feet instead. I’m cheering you on to “move” today!

 “You’ve got what it takes to finish it up, so go to it. Once the commitment is clear, you do what you can, not what you can’t. The heart regulates the hands. This isn’t so others can take it easy while you sweat it out. No, you’re shoulder to shoulder with them all the way, your surplus matching their deficit, their surplus matching your deficit.” 2 Corinthians 8:13-14

Wal-Mart and Ministry

Day 4

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Last week, on the day I had committed to doing this crazy write-for-31-days-thing,  our weekly bible study met. We had begun Beth Moore’s Children of the Day over 1 and 2 Thessalonians the week before and we were about to settle into watching the Session 2 video. As I said yesterday, I again felt an overwhelming urge to speak that couldn’t be pushed away. I told the ladies gathered each of them was meant to be there to hear whatever message Beth was bringing us this night and that every tiny thing we do during our day and night is purposed by God. I didn’t go into specifics about how I knew this to be true right then, but I wanted them to know it. I also told them I had decided to start a new blog and it involved them somehow. I didn’t know specifics, but I needed them to know it.

So I settle into the carpet next to a gigantic pile of legos and the video begins. It just so happened Beth began talking about our ministry. When I say “our ministry” I’m talking to you, reader of this blog post. One of the main a-ha’s I’ve discovered for myself is that I thought a “ministry” had to be official. It needed a stage and a microphone, or a book deal. God’s been trying to redefine this for me for YEARS now and I stubbornly shooed His promptings away. 

For instance, one of the most powerful Living Proof Live’s our group of girls went to in Little Rock a few years ago was themed “Fulfill Your Ministry.” Beth and her crew even turned it into its own stand-alone mini-study you can buy! It was amazing, I learned a ton, but I kept pushing away the whisper that would say things like, “Stop your teaching job and let’s do this new thing,” or “Clear your schedule so we will have time” you get the drift. It took about two years later for someone to tell me out loud something similar.

You know how someone might say, “I’m not one to name drop,” and then the person name drops? Yeah, that’s me right now. Bear with me, please.

So last year a sweet, well-meaning friend in charge of seating arrangements for the annual Loving Choices banquet tells me, as I’m big and pregnant, “We didn’t have room for you at our table so I knew you wouldn’t care and I placed you at the “head” table where we had some open seats.” Sure, I didn’t care, but I didn’t know I’d be sitting next to the (at the time) CEO of Wal-Mart Mike Duke and his wife. What in the world would we talk about? The salad dressing?? As we made our introductions, the key note speaker,was sipping on hot tea because of a sore throat. I remember watching her and wondering how she was going to speak in front of the crowd of around 1000 people. We chatted about our families for a few minutes and then she went up on stage and never let on that her throat was sore and told her amazing story without a hint of stage fright. The story was amazing. Her mother went through with an abortion while pregnant with her and a few weeks later realized she was still pregnant! It was then too late to abort and this speaker lady was supposed to have tons of health problems from the attempt, but instead she was perfectly healthy and she has gone on to become an international speaker! http://www.melissaohden.com/bio

Wow, off topic…okay so now back to Mike. (No, we aren’t on a first name basis, I’m just pretending.) So it’s obvious to everyone I’m pregnant at the time and it’s such a God-amazing-story of how sweet Ethan came to be and much more interesting than talking about the salad dressing, I decide to  share a small version of my story of beauty from ashes. Mike tells me I should share my story with others and I tell him I do when I can, but I’m so nervous to be in front of groups of people. He says, “You may be meant to be speaking one on one or in small groups of people. You can make as big an impact that way as well. Please pass the ranch.” Okay, maybe he didn’t ask for the ranch, but what he did do was make me rethink the pressing feelings I was having about sharing my story. Each of our stories are worth telling because they are written by God after all, we just need the confidence to sip our tea and SPEAK. He planted a seed by that comment he made that I’m sure he doesn’t remember making. I then asked about him and he mentioned he’s usually in China during the banquet each year and was thrilled to be there that night. Can you imagine? :)

So it’s been a year since that conversation and since then I started embracing what he meant. I am MUCH more comfortable sharing with people in a smaller setting, getting to know the people I’m talking with, and using our relationship as the catalyst for explaining how amazing Jesus is…but what’s so AMAZING is He has been equipping me all along to show others how they…YOU…have your own ministry. It doesn’t have to have its own twitter account to be called a “ministry.” Many of you are ministering daily to little ones running around your ankles as you read this! Others of you minister as you give an encouraging word to the check-out lady at Wal-mart. (Always back to Wal-mart, right? This is Northwest Arkansas after all…)

All of this to say that in the video we watched that night it confirmed completely what God had been telling me for years,  it’s time for a NEW thing. Quit using excuses: “I’m not eloquent enough.” “I need to learn more of the bible first.” “I don’t have it all figured out so how I can help anyone?” It’s time to quit letting fear and insecurity intimidate us into staying quiet about our own stories written by God. It’s time to start sharing with others. God is showing us our ministry is all around us right now. I'm still waiting on God to show us how this new thing He's doing will come together, but I know it involves any of you that are feeling a similar tug of spreading the love of God in our community. Some of you are saying, that means me? 

Yes, it does sweet sister loved by God; we are in this race together! Tie up your laces!

Ps The annual fundraising banquet for Loving Choices is next month, November 11, 2014, and the speaker is Pam Tebow! It’s always an inspirational event and there is food. : )  Click here for more information

Anxiety and The Weather

Day 3 

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It felt like summer and fall were fighting with each other today. Did you notice?  I consider it such a blessing to live in a climate where God can show off His four seasons in NWA…Hot, Scorching,Cool and Frozen. Seriously, though it was a GLORIOUS weather day. Coolish, but not humid this morning, then around lunch I had to find a jacket, and now the kids are living it up in the sunshine and the crisp fall wind while the swingset Tyler recently put together is being pushed to its limits. (Ethan is peacefully sleeping in case you were wondering.)

It reminded me of a conversation that happened last night after bible study. We were talking about how rampant anxiety is among women of all ages today. I mentioned something that helped me was limiting the news we watch. Now before you get all huffy on me and start talking about the responsibilities of citizens, I didn’t say I’m uninformed. Tyler and I have limited the amount of television we watch as a whole, this includes televised news. Everything the news shows us has to be the most dramatic, crazy things they can find in the whole world that happened today or MIGHT happen. Even the weather is mostly what the day was like (okay, the day is over but thanks for the reminder of what we experienced) and then they say what MIGHT happen tomorrow. 

Yes, they are pretty accurate but they couldn’t predict the AMAZING sunrise we would witness this morning with the rays coming down in shades of pink that had the water on the trees glistening the way it was this morning, which led us to talking about the beauty in God’s creation. Which then led us to listen to the song “Beautiful Things” that even had Thomas belting it out.

 No one could have predicted the gush of cool wind the kids felt as they raced to the swings would make them giggle and talk about visiting pumpkin patches.  

 

I can barely stand it. Look at those little feet.

It is important to be informed, but not to be paranoid. We are not called to be anxious about everything, and worry about the future never giving it to God. Instead…

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. ⁵ Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; ⁶ do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4-7)

Warning: I am not saying that all anxiety is curable by only prayer. God gave us doctors for a reason. Have you heard of Luke in the gospels? He was a doctor! Do not suffer in silence. There is help for the debilitating anxiety that makes life too hard to handle. What I’m talking about in this post is the anxiety that we let into our homes and lives without realizing it. Take a look at your schedule and routines. What brings you peace? What makes you feel nervous? What can be done about it? If you find yourself feeling uneasy, unrested, or anxious can it be as simple as turning “it” off? I also learned that whenever a habit or something “comfortable” needs to be omitted, be sure to replace it with something life-affirming. Reward your soul by turning off the anxiety and turning on music or reading a book or calling a friend. 
Right now for me rewarding my soul means pressing “publish” and pushing my kids on the swings. Love you all so much.
⁸ Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. ⁹ What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”(Philippians 4:8)