Day 12: New Mercies

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If you have been around me much in the last few months, or at least by reading this 31 day writing challenge, you know I have had a fire lit inside me to help people. I had a friend describe what happened to me as “my eyes being opened” to the hurt all around me.

I do not want to sound like I have been oblivious to the hurt in the world around me before this fire occurred, but it was more like my insecurities paralyzed me from trying to do much about it so I just kept myself comfortable.

God knew what it would take for me to act.

Hurts so big in my friends’ lives all happening at the same time this past year did not paralyze me, it made me much bolder.  I finally realized my petty insecurities were a simple trap Satan arranged to keep me ineffectual. The realization also brought desperation to know God’s promises and depend on them.

IF I know God is real, what did that mean for me today? That simple question has been rocking my world. It makes what I used to think of as “reality” fall to the background and a burning desire to take advantage of what little time we have left. 

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Cor 4:18

One of my fears in this 31 day writing challenge is that, God forbid, I come across as a know-it-all. Oh my. Part of this renewal fire inside me is realizing just how little I have figured out. Instead of it making me feel stressed to the max as my old self would feel, this realization let me REALLY see who is in control. In the state I am today I know that I KNOW I am completely, utterly powerless. However, getting my flesh and my petty insecurities out of the way allows God to use me as I obey and rest in Him. Wow, I think this whole 31 day challenge could be me writing only those words.

Obey and Rest. Obey and Rest. Obey and Rest.

But then the words would become routine and meaningless. My desire in writing is to get across the joy and peace that come from obeying and resting in God.

I cannot heal all the hurt surrounding me. I can only obey God and let Him use me as one of His tools for His greater purposes, in this I find joy and peace. He loves us so much He knows obeying can be difficult, He knows we need the command to rest. If I look past today I become so burdened and troubled that I am paralyzed again, so I will choose to remember He has provided all I need for today and I will rest in that promise.

  

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23