Wal-Mart and Ministry

Day 4

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Last week, on the day I had committed to doing this crazy write-for-31-days-thing,  our weekly bible study met. We had begun Beth Moore’s Children of the Day over 1 and 2 Thessalonians the week before and we were about to settle into watching the Session 2 video. As I said yesterday, I again felt an overwhelming urge to speak that couldn’t be pushed away. I told the ladies gathered each of them was meant to be there to hear whatever message Beth was bringing us this night and that every tiny thing we do during our day and night is purposed by God. I didn’t go into specifics about how I knew this to be true right then, but I wanted them to know it. I also told them I had decided to start a new blog and it involved them somehow. I didn’t know specifics, but I needed them to know it.

So I settle into the carpet next to a gigantic pile of legos and the video begins. It just so happened Beth began talking about our ministry. When I say “our ministry” I’m talking to you, reader of this blog post. One of the main a-ha’s I’ve discovered for myself is that I thought a “ministry” had to be official. It needed a stage and a microphone, or a book deal. God’s been trying to redefine this for me for YEARS now and I stubbornly shooed His promptings away. 

For instance, one of the most powerful Living Proof Live’s our group of girls went to in Little Rock a few years ago was themed “Fulfill Your Ministry.” Beth and her crew even turned it into its own stand-alone mini-study you can buy! It was amazing, I learned a ton, but I kept pushing away the whisper that would say things like, “Stop your teaching job and let’s do this new thing,” or “Clear your schedule so we will have time” you get the drift. It took about two years later for someone to tell me out loud something similar.

You know how someone might say, “I’m not one to name drop,” and then the person name drops? Yeah, that’s me right now. Bear with me, please.

So last year a sweet, well-meaning friend in charge of seating arrangements for the annual Loving Choices banquet tells me, as I’m big and pregnant, “We didn’t have room for you at our table so I knew you wouldn’t care and I placed you at the “head” table where we had some open seats.” Sure, I didn’t care, but I didn’t know I’d be sitting next to the (at the time) CEO of Wal-Mart Mike Duke and his wife. What in the world would we talk about? The salad dressing?? As we made our introductions, the key note speaker,was sipping on hot tea because of a sore throat. I remember watching her and wondering how she was going to speak in front of the crowd of around 1000 people. We chatted about our families for a few minutes and then she went up on stage and never let on that her throat was sore and told her amazing story without a hint of stage fright. The story was amazing. Her mother went through with an abortion while pregnant with her and a few weeks later realized she was still pregnant! It was then too late to abort and this speaker lady was supposed to have tons of health problems from the attempt, but instead she was perfectly healthy and she has gone on to become an international speaker! http://www.melissaohden.com/bio

Wow, off topic…okay so now back to Mike. (No, we aren’t on a first name basis, I’m just pretending.) So it’s obvious to everyone I’m pregnant at the time and it’s such a God-amazing-story of how sweet Ethan came to be and much more interesting than talking about the salad dressing, I decide to  share a small version of my story of beauty from ashes. Mike tells me I should share my story with others and I tell him I do when I can, but I’m so nervous to be in front of groups of people. He says, “You may be meant to be speaking one on one or in small groups of people. You can make as big an impact that way as well. Please pass the ranch.” Okay, maybe he didn’t ask for the ranch, but what he did do was make me rethink the pressing feelings I was having about sharing my story. Each of our stories are worth telling because they are written by God after all, we just need the confidence to sip our tea and SPEAK. He planted a seed by that comment he made that I’m sure he doesn’t remember making. I then asked about him and he mentioned he’s usually in China during the banquet each year and was thrilled to be there that night. Can you imagine? :)

So it’s been a year since that conversation and since then I started embracing what he meant. I am MUCH more comfortable sharing with people in a smaller setting, getting to know the people I’m talking with, and using our relationship as the catalyst for explaining how amazing Jesus is…but what’s so AMAZING is He has been equipping me all along to show others how they…YOU…have your own ministry. It doesn’t have to have its own twitter account to be called a “ministry.” Many of you are ministering daily to little ones running around your ankles as you read this! Others of you minister as you give an encouraging word to the check-out lady at Wal-mart. (Always back to Wal-mart, right? This is Northwest Arkansas after all…)

All of this to say that in the video we watched that night it confirmed completely what God had been telling me for years,  it’s time for a NEW thing. Quit using excuses: “I’m not eloquent enough.” “I need to learn more of the bible first.” “I don’t have it all figured out so how I can help anyone?” It’s time to quit letting fear and insecurity intimidate us into staying quiet about our own stories written by God. It’s time to start sharing with others. God is showing us our ministry is all around us right now. I'm still waiting on God to show us how this new thing He's doing will come together, but I know it involves any of you that are feeling a similar tug of spreading the love of God in our community. Some of you are saying, that means me? 

Yes, it does sweet sister loved by God; we are in this race together! Tie up your laces!

Ps The annual fundraising banquet for Loving Choices is next month, November 11, 2014, and the speaker is Pam Tebow! It’s always an inspirational event and there is food. : )  Click here for more information

Anxiety and The Weather

Day 3 

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It felt like summer and fall were fighting with each other today. Did you notice?  I consider it such a blessing to live in a climate where God can show off His four seasons in NWA…Hot, Scorching,Cool and Frozen. Seriously, though it was a GLORIOUS weather day. Coolish, but not humid this morning, then around lunch I had to find a jacket, and now the kids are living it up in the sunshine and the crisp fall wind while the swingset Tyler recently put together is being pushed to its limits. (Ethan is peacefully sleeping in case you were wondering.)

It reminded me of a conversation that happened last night after bible study. We were talking about how rampant anxiety is among women of all ages today. I mentioned something that helped me was limiting the news we watch. Now before you get all huffy on me and start talking about the responsibilities of citizens, I didn’t say I’m uninformed. Tyler and I have limited the amount of television we watch as a whole, this includes televised news. Everything the news shows us has to be the most dramatic, crazy things they can find in the whole world that happened today or MIGHT happen. Even the weather is mostly what the day was like (okay, the day is over but thanks for the reminder of what we experienced) and then they say what MIGHT happen tomorrow. 

Yes, they are pretty accurate but they couldn’t predict the AMAZING sunrise we would witness this morning with the rays coming down in shades of pink that had the water on the trees glistening the way it was this morning, which led us to talking about the beauty in God’s creation. Which then led us to listen to the song “Beautiful Things” that even had Thomas belting it out.

 No one could have predicted the gush of cool wind the kids felt as they raced to the swings would make them giggle and talk about visiting pumpkin patches.  

 

I can barely stand it. Look at those little feet.

It is important to be informed, but not to be paranoid. We are not called to be anxious about everything, and worry about the future never giving it to God. Instead…

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. ⁵ Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; ⁶ do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4-7)

Warning: I am not saying that all anxiety is curable by only prayer. God gave us doctors for a reason. Have you heard of Luke in the gospels? He was a doctor! Do not suffer in silence. There is help for the debilitating anxiety that makes life too hard to handle. What I’m talking about in this post is the anxiety that we let into our homes and lives without realizing it. Take a look at your schedule and routines. What brings you peace? What makes you feel nervous? What can be done about it? If you find yourself feeling uneasy, unrested, or anxious can it be as simple as turning “it” off? I also learned that whenever a habit or something “comfortable” needs to be omitted, be sure to replace it with something life-affirming. Reward your soul by turning off the anxiety and turning on music or reading a book or calling a friend. 
Right now for me rewarding my soul means pressing “publish” and pushing my kids on the swings. Love you all so much.
⁸ Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. ⁹ What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”(Philippians 4:8)

Coincidences Don't Exist

Day 2
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There are times when I am certain the Holy Spirit is urging me to say something, but I know I’m not a gifted speaker. I stumble over my words and say inappropriate things, but when I know I have to say something I know now that God will give me the words that I need.

A couple of weeks ago I was particularly nervous about talking to some ladies about all that I’ve been experiencing lately and I had been praying all day for confidence. Right before I went to my car my phone alerted me that I needed to read that day’s devotional in my bible app. I usually swipe it away and forget to do it (I’m already reading another devotional each morning anyway, but this was one of those time the Holy Spirit pushed me to do it.) This is what it said…

“Then I said, “Ah, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth.”  But the Lord said to me,

“Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’;

for to all to whom I send you, you shall go,

and whatever I command you, you shall speak.

Do not be afraid of them,

for I am with you to deliver you,

declares the Lord.”

Then the Lord put out his hand and touched my mouth. And the Lord said to me,

“Behold, I have put my words in your mouth.” Jeremiah 1:6-9

First, let’s be clear, I know I’m not a youth, Ha! Second, I have zero doubt in my mind that He sent me that message for me that day. And as if to put a stamp out any doubt I might have still had lingering, as I was marveling over a God that cares for my silly nerves, He had a dear friend I hadn’t talked to in a while send me a text right then that said she was thinking and praying for me.

Y’all. Many of you have been with me a long time on this journey of life, but I’m not sure you knew the cynicism and doubt that was prevalent in my life. It brings me to tears as I type this realizing how many times God tried to speak to me through all sorts of manner over the years and I would brush it off quickly telling myself I’m making a connection that isn’t really there (“It’s just a coincidence”) or thinking the whisper I heard over my spirit was coming from me out of desperation and not from the mighty Father wanting to get my attention.  I am so done with that crap. I am a new creation, again. He makes things new every. single. day. The trials my dear friends and I have been through over the last couple of months have been ones of utter despair and the greatest joys we’ve ever experienced. And you know what? He knew us so well that He knew we’d need to experience it together. Telling us the same exact words while we are apart so he could knock our socks off when we shared with each other that we heard the same things. 

I will get into some specifics of this amazingness over the next couple of weeks. For now, let’s just be quiet for a minute, tell God you are ready to hear Him, even if you’ve been a Christian for 30 years it may be time to hear Him in a NEW way, get it? Then sit back and be ready for what He tells you. It will knock your socks off, too. Try it. Right now. What have you got to lose? And when you do hear from Him, thank Him instead of brushing it off with "What a coincidence!"

“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12 ESV

“God means what he says. What he says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey. Nothing and no one is impervious to God’s Word. We can’t get away from it—no matter what.” Hebrews 4:12 MSG

Finishing the Blog

Please Scroll Down to Read Day 1
Click here for Day 2: Coincidences Don't Exist
Day 3: Anxiety and the Weather
Day 4: Wal-Mart and Ministry
Day 5: Move it, MOVE IT!
Day 6: The Road Not Taken
Day 7: Tools for Anxiety
Day 8: Hitting the Snooze
Day 9: Rest 
Day 10: Painful Post
Day 11: Love Much Hurt Much
Day 12: New Mercies 
Day 13: Grace
Day 14: Remember
Day 15: Stress
Day 16: Brave
Day 17: Trajectory 
Day 18: Finishing the Race
Day 19: Memory Loss
Day 20: Deliverance 
Day 21: Waiting
Day 22: Why? 
Day 23: Fear
Day 24: In Alert Expectancy
Day 25: Date and Dung
Day 26: Fried Snickers or Fruit 
Day 27: Imperfect Progress 
Day 28: Laughable
Day 29: Boxes
Day 30: Jesus in Scrubs
Day 31: A Bruce Goodbye

Day 1

I’m giving myself 31 days to finish this “Sweetcarolinebaby” blog that has been like a dear friend to me, she’s let me process grief and joy with her for 8 years now, but it’s time to grow and stretch a bit.

Whew, that's hard to take in. What is helping is God's new vision for the blog that He's given me just a snippet of so far. I hope it's a much clearer vision when November 1st rolls around, so for now I'm just trusting God with this leap of faith. It's tough. It's vulnerable. It's time.

The day I decided for sure this blog was going to be something new and different was the day my devotional (Jesus Calling--ps buy it now if you don't have it) said "Each of my children is a unique blend of temperament, giftedness, and life experiences...Beware of trying to impress others by acting as if your giant steps are only baby ones." Y'all. This is a giant step. Just so we are clear. :)

And I want you to know my ol' blog “Sweetcarolinebaby” is precious to me, but c’mon what a silly name! I remember vividly when and where I was when I chose that name. (Which in itself is a miracle, because God did not give me a good memory!)

It was December 28^th, 2006. Thomas and I had finally settled on the name Caroline for our first born baby. Back then blogging was a new fad, so starting up my blog I tried the name “sweetcaroline,” well there were a few more bloggers than I realized because pretty much every combo of it was taken, except “sweetcarolinebaby.” So there it was. You can see I had no idea the blog would outlast Caroline’s baby years, ha! She’s now a beautiful, intuitive, amazing 7.5 year old with two front teeth missing. 

Precious babies photographed by precious friend Staci

  Our family’s blog had barely started when the unthinkable happened and while 6 weeks pregnant with our second child, less than a month before sweet Caroline turned 2, my husband hit an icy patch on a road a mile from our home and went on to his forever home. You can read the post about it here.

Over the years of processing my grieving journey I found how my story and blog would help people. Strangers and friends would tell me how they received encouragement from my story and it opened up new friendships as well as sparked a desire in my heart to write more. It’s so amazing how God can give us new gifts or passions in our elderly years…or 30s, whichever….it all did surprise me though. Really? Just sharing what’s in my crazy head can help others? Oh, but that’s exactly right! When we share it lets others not feel alone or crazy by themselves! Isn’t that what we are called to do? Didn’t God design us that way? That’s why the Griefshare tagline is “Grief shared is grief diminished.” Amen. Don’t let satan tell you your story is shameful or not important! He wants to keep it in the dark where it seems “safe.” God tells us to bring everything into the light! Don’t think that it’s easy to do this. I have to pray every day for courage and strength to share and be open to what God asks. And every day He provides it. Without fail.

 “Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven. Matthew 5:14-16 MSG

I’ve known for a while that a new blog was coming, I just didn’t know how or when. Then several of my friends went through separate (and are still going through) major life crises. One of the main themes God has brought to our attention is how He makes things new, if we let Him. Not just restored, or better…He makes them NEW. 

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 36:26

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Cor 5:17

Why is that significant? Because we don’t even want things to be like they were before the crisis hit. We NEED them to be new. A new creation, a new start…hmmm a new blog seemed to fit “for such a time as this.”

I cannot get that phrase out of my mind. I feel like Sean Astin’s character in Goonies down at the bottom of the well, needing to give my speech to rally the troops, 

“ The next time you see sky, it'll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it'll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the bestest stuff for us. But right now they gotta do what's right for them, 'cause it's their time. Their time, up there. Down here it's our time. It's our time down here. That's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket. “

Y'all. First of all, doesn't that movie just take you back to a magical place...and if it doesn't, welcome to 1989.

Anyway, this IS our time. The only time we have. And God is putting into motion a new revival like none we’ve ever seen or experienced. We want…no, we NEED you to be a part of this.  No it’s not Troy’s bucket staring us in the face, but it’s an adventure for sure. Listen to that quiet whisper in your soul that is nudging you toward something bigger than yourself. I will attempt to delve into the aspects of this “new” thing over the next 30 days. Yes, you heard me right, I’m accepting the challenge from one of my favorite authors, Emily Freeman and her sister, and writing for 31 days straight. Yes, it seems impossible to me, too. I’m the one who blogs once a month, maybe. It’s not that I don’t have a lot to say, whew, ask my bible study girls, I am LONG WINDED when it comes to emails, texts, conversations, so maybe this will give them a break too. I’m going to let it out here, If you’ll allow it. Until tomorrow, say a prayer if you don't mind for this "new" thing He is doing and ask how He wants you to be a part of it. It’s not a fad, someone wanting to sell anything or anything you'll have to add to your schedule…It’s about how to reach out and grab a hand of someone you know or someone you don’t know and say, “Come run with me, Let’s help each other to the finish.” Thanks y'all.

If:Prayer

God has been more real to me over the last few months than my entire life. I know it sounds so utterly weird, especially everything I've been through already, but it's true. I am not sure how to explain it properly, but I will try over the next month in blog posts. Stay tuned :)

On a related, but separate note I am obeying God's nudge to host a prayer gathering at my house Tuesday, Sept 23rd. I've been following Jennie Allen's "If" vision for a while now and after some soul searching and praying I have personally experienced the importance of what she's doing. She's obeying and because of God she has helped unite women across the country and the world for the purposes of spreading Jesus' message.

I am so desperate for every single person I know, and yes of course, people I don't know yet--to experience Jesus the way I have. It's not magic, it's not just for a select few, it is real and for EVERYONE. It is rocking my world to have the scales on my eyes lifted and see just how broken our world is. Everyone is hurting over something. Everyone. You are not alone. I want people to know they aren't alone so they can begin to heal with Jesus' help and friends that are real.

If you aren't able to come to our prayer gathering on Tuesday, consider hosting your own or praying on your own. You'll be joined by thousands around the world that night. So we all know we aren't alone, we are being heard. His Spirit is being poured out, y'all. Be a part of it.

http://ifgathering.com/2014/09/get-involved-in-ifpray/

The Best Yes

You know that feeling when you open a closet to clean it, and then you shut the door and walk away because it's just too overwhelming? Yeah, that's me and this blog post.

I have probably T-minus nine minutes while Ethan is still napping, Thomas is preoccupied and the laundry isn't going anywhere. Unfortunately.
There is WAY too much to cover about how the last couple of months has taught me, but if I don't write it down I might forget and then a day will come when I'll need to remember, you know what I mean?
So here it goes, unedited, honesty junk:

1. God is alive and well. He is active in every detail and "happening" that goes on, it's just up to us to take time to notice Him. The more I'm acknowledging this, the more He's making Himself obvious to me.

2. I am grateful I'm seeing why God led me to the word "Rest" for this year and how my dear friend Heather took me off the teaching schedule this fall. Hallelujah, God knew I would need some time and energy for other endeavors (that sounds lofty, maybe the word "needs" is better than endeavors, whatever, I don't have time for my thesaurus!)

3. When you really need to take time and talk to God, He will help with that. And it may be a huge poopy diaper explosion involving carseats, clothes, bathtubs (yes, multiple tubs...) and it's all about attitude...right? RIGHT?! Good grief.

4. Even when there's a lot of poop or just the crap of life happening, there is JOY. Yes, always. We went to Florida this summer and I was determined to not just post smiley, happy pictures so that all of social media will think our life is pinterest-perfect (HELLO! It's NOT and No one else's is either, so just quit with that thinking!)
I decided I wanted to post the "what's really going on with this picture" posts. A couple of days into doing it I realized how far I had come in the area of really owning the reality that happiness is based on circumstances, joy, however is the bedrock of my foundation! The joy of the Lord is my strength. Over and over again I would post a picture and then tell the bad/negative behind the scenes stuff...but the thing was that bad stuff (1,000 degree heat, screaming child right before the pic was taken, bucket load of spit up right after a pic was taken etc) didn't change the joy of the moments for me. Hallelujah, praise Jehovah.
 Not so long ago, spit up so huge, at a beach side restaurant, that it puddled in my dress between my legs and dripped through...seriously...would have meant that we all had to load up and go home so I could be sad, mad, showered, whatever. Not anymore...I chose joy. I was grateful they already had a whole roll of paper towels on the table (shoutout to Harry T's!), grateful I had chosen to wear blue stripes that (mostly) hid the giant stain, grateful we could continue on with our night out with the kids and not ruin everyone's fun with a pity party!

5. Ps I'm not perfect at #4. I still have pity parties, but I'm celebrating my imperfect progress.

6. Which brings me to Lysa Terkeurst. Some girls from our weekly bible study group went to see her speak Sunday night at the NWA Women's Conference. Holy cow. Here's some golden gems from it:
  a) Go where wisdom gathers, not where wisdom scatters. You want to be wise? Go where wise people go, be with wise people and do what wise people do.
  b)Shift your focus from the the problem to the promises (of God.)
  c) Obeying His instruction today will give us more discernment/keen awareness for what tomorrow holds.
  d) Just because we feel a certain way, doesn't mean we have to be a certain way.
  e) Learn to bend without breaking. This is life. It is and will be hard at times.
  f) We won't hit the mark everyday---GRACE----but we will keep showing up day after day to try again.
  g) Unrush me. It's people, not projects. Look for divine appointments each day. (He always has them for us, we just need to slow down to see them.)
  h) Abigail (from Old Testament) didn't know she'd be a star in the bible! She just obeyed God and it happened. We don't realize how important we are. (Or how our story intertwines in divine ways with other people's stories....I made that up, but I believe it's true and I think Lysa would back me up.)
  i) We are all Burdened, Busy, and Blessed...not every assignment is ours, but in the middle of all those "Bs" look for God's assignment for us. Look for "us" in the "rUSh" of life.

7. Thank you God for letting me run into a lady yesterday I had never met and she said she read my blog...I will never quit being shocked that people keep reading this and how you encourage me to keep at it, even when the laundry is looming and it's time to get in that looooong car rider line.

Thanks for reading this ramble if you've made it this far. Please take a minute to look around you and decide where your "Best Yes" should be for you today. We canNOT do it all.

ps I'm not getting paid or anything for pushing this book, but y'all...it's an amazing message. The author is also donating 100% of proceeds to Christian initiatives around the world.

This post is part of Lysa TerKeurst’s “The Best Yes” Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with many other inspiring bloggers.  To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE. (http://goo.gl/bQVJW0)

www.thebestyes.com